Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
We’re back with another breakdown of everything I’ve seen, heard, and hated in the past few days. This Did You Hear? Is a DOOZY, because… so much has happened. And honestly all of it has directly affected my emotional state of being. From Taylor Swift to Bethenny Frankel, and also the idea I had about giving up carbs for the month of September, I’m fully off the deep end. Now let’s watch as we dive in. Is it okay if I still reference A Star Is Born? I fully plan on doing it until Lady Gaga EGOTS and then every day after that, so. Also — before we jump into this, if you’re in the mood (which I’m sure you are), head on over to my Instagram and shower my face masked-robe selfie with love, I ask for so little in life.
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
#BStrongMargarita. Wow, we’ll get into this new in the next section but I’m going to bring it up here because I’ve heard the best way to handle grief is to just say what’s happening over and over again as a form of processing that it’s real. I actually don’t think I’ve heard that anywhere, so if you’re struggling with something, don’t take that advice. Unless you already did and it changed your life — in which case, call me Oprah.
The #BStrongMargarita is for anyone out there who is struggling with the news that Queen Bethenny Frankel is leaving the Real Housewives of New York. There are a ton of theories and reactions to why, but all we for sure know is that it’s happening and we need a drink to handle it. So this is basically just a margarita, but make it a double for yourself and then post a picture drinking it with some form of self-promotion. It’s what our B would want.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
This week, we learned never to mess with the horse girl in school. Cause in a few years, she’ll be the most popular pop star in the entire world. And she’ll keep the receipts of all the shitty things you did to her. THE POWER OF XANGA. Read Taylor Swift’s diary entry about when Kanye interrupted her at the VMA’s.
Blast From the PAST:
In honor of the MTV VMA’s tonight, this blast from the past is from 2013 when Miley Cyrus took “she’s just being Miley” and fully twerked on Robin Thicke. Simpler times. Relive the moment here.
Stream or Scream?:
I mean, Lover by Taylor Swift has been truly all I have been listening to for the past 72+ hours (I’m a Girl, Uninterrupted) but I DID pause our country-pop queen to deep dive into Missy Elliott’s new EP, Iconography. And can I say? DELIVERS BEYOND THE POINT OF NO CONTROL. The music made her lose control in the best way possible. Plus, shout out to her even more for reminding all of these artists nowadays how to make a DAMN MUSIC VIDEO. Watch it here to prepare for her Michael Jackson Vanguard Award performance tonight at the VMA’s. I wonder who’s going to get the Jeffrey Epstein Award. Drake, probably.