Mark Normand Checks In For A New Edition of Social Distancing Dispatches with Kashmere


Socially distancing from reality seems like a dream, right? How many Friday afternoons did you cry at the fact that you have plans, when all you wanted to do was watch Netflix on your couch with a bottle of wine and no obligations? Well… I guess we all need to be careful what we wished for because that’s our current reality with COVID-19 until 2048 with. Kidding… I hope. I figured because since there are no stand-up shows, podcast tours, or sets to go to with everything shut down — comedians are most likely going stir crazy. And since I’m a nosy bitch, I had to find out just how they were passing the time. As always, I’m Kashmere and these are the Social Distancing Dispatches.

What a gift it is to have Mark Normand take some time to let us know how his quarantine is going! We know him, we love him, and we’re definitely all making a mental note to see him on stage when that… becomes a thing again. Until then, be sure to check out his new hour comedy special, OUT TO LUNCH, streaming on YouTube now!

I mean how prepared were you for this? Did you have toilet paper at the ready or were you panic running around to bodegas trying to find like, ramen noodles?   I wasn’t prepped at all!! I kinda didn’t want to believe it when it started. So I ran out of TP quickly then I had to go to Dunkin Donuts and use their napkins for a while. Not braggin…

Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you feel like this is your thrive time or are you making up conversations with inanimate objects.    Big introvert!!!! I live with my lady which is great but I was on the road every weekend and she went to work every day so when we saw each other it was very special and. Now its 100% of the time. It’s working out but it was quite a jump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I take a lotta walks.

Are you quarantined alone or with roommates? What’s your favorite/least favorite part of your situation.  I went from doing comedy in a different city every weekend, multiple spots in the city on weeknights to zerooooooooooo. I have no outlet!!!! I’ve turned to twitter and podcasts just so I don’t lose my comedy edge. I’m also using the empty NYC as a backdrop in a lot of videos.

Have you come up with a random quarantine meal/snack that you would never eat during your normal day-to-day?  I’m actually eating better than before. I used to eat on the road a lot, airports, hotels, etc. Now I have fruit and oatmeal and my gal cooks fun dinners at night. I’m fat now.

The most random show that you’ve found solace in during this… no need to be embarrassed, I’m rewatching Real Housewives of Atlanta to feel right now.   Well, I’ve always been a huge youtube douche. SO I gooooo deep into YouTube holes. But I’ve started watching Game of Thrones just because it takes up time. Plus I always felt outta place not knowing what people were talking about 4 years ago. Its not my cup of jizz but I’m slowly getting into it. Its all boobs and beheading.

I know we should all just be lucky to just have to stay inside, but this is your free pass to vent: what is pissing you off the most about being quarantined. Did you have a cancelled trip? Dream gig coming up?   Obviously not being able to do my favorite thing sucks. But what bums me out the most is I keep getting yelled at by old people on my block. They;re losing it!!!!!!!! Im wearing a mask and keeping distant and they still snap at me all the time. I guess they think the virus is coming for them so they need to lash out. Also, it seems like their grandkids left them on Manhattan to die and I can see why.

What do you want to accomplish during this time that you have been putting off because you “don’t have the time”?
I keep saying Im gonna learn the piano and finish a bunch of books but I still havent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They say if you want something done, give it to a busy person, well then I’m gonna get nothing done.
I hate myself.

Follow Mark Normand on Twitter, or on Instagram, and go to for more information, and make sure you check out OUT TO LUNCH for FREE on YouTube now!

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Experience life in the FAB lane. He's fashion forward and knows his way around the red carpets of comedy. It's Kashmir
Danny Kashmere
Danny Kashmere
Experience life in the FAB lane. He's fashion forward and knows his way around the red carpets of comedy. It's Kashmir