Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas in the sense that there is truly no time to breathe or do anything for yourself until 2020. Am I the only person that has cookie parties, holiday parties, white elephant parties, and basically any other combination of words before party parties? All I want for Christmas is to nap. AND for anyone in the New York area to come to PASS THE AUX, my monthly variety show, this Thursday! Tickets are here!
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
In lieu of a drink this week, I feel like we all could just use a nap. So hopefully wherever your favorite watering hole is also has a couch and a compassionate heart and will let you sleep there for 20 minutes. Keep the tab open!
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Celine Dion Broke A Not-So-Great Record |Celine is a diva, and nothing can take that away. She could pivot and start working at Ross’ Dress for Less and she would still be viewed as the queen supreme. Unfortunately, having a career that spans multiple decades comes with a catch — your older fans don’t know how to stream anything. This is what happened with her most recent album Courage, which went #1 on Billboard in its first week (mainly through pure sales), and then had the biggest jump ever for a woman, to #111. Bon Jovi still has her beat, though!
Princess Eugenie Parties in Miami Amid Father’s Scandal | This has not been a good year for the royal family. If anything, I hope Meghan Markle is at Cafe Gratitude in LA right now, laughing at all the idiots in her new family that thought she was their main problem. Not quiet. Well, Eugeine seems to be shaking off her father’s scandal and is partying it up at Art Basel. Something tells me this is the first time someone named Eugeine will be in Miami.
Ashley Graham Needs Sex Tips | Being a supermodel is hard! Luckily, they usually have other A-list friends to help them out because after are, we are the world, we are the children. The pregnant model revealed she needed Amy Schumer and Serena Williams help for sex tips while pregnant, and luckily her girls delivered.
Are Tamron Hall and Kelly Clarkson feuding? | Two of daytimes newest faces, Tamron and Kelly seem to be filling different lanes. Tamron has the coveted #MommyMarket down pat, and Kelly basically just does drunk karaoke (flawlessly) every morning. Tamron was apparently annoyed Kelly’s show got renewed before hers, but I don’t know why she’s shocked. Kelly has Ellen and the history of American Idol on her side, and you don’t mess with something that gave a guy like Clay Aiken fame.
Golden Globe Noms Are Here! | The nominees are still being revealed but I am excited for a Rachel Brosnahan and Phoebe Waller Bridge showdown. Are you happy with them? Anything got snubbed? Let me know at @kashmeredanny!
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
The ultimate lesson that I feel this week taught me is that it’s good to have friends in high places. You can jet off to Miami mid scandal or help yourself get off in bed. Who says you can’t have it all?
Blast From the PAST:
With news of bananas being sold for over 100 grand at Art Basel, I immediately went back to hysterical art stories (that are shockingly few and far between, at least for someone in my tax bracket to understand). The iconic one I’ll always remember though is when Bansky SHREDDED HIS OWN PAINTING after someone bought it for 14 million dollars. Chill.
Stream or Scream?:
Don’t even ask me this, you know what I’m going to see. Celine Dion clearly needs our help — I don’t care if the new album isn’t for you or if you’d rather listen to holiday music, STREAM COURAGE AND STREAM IT NOW.