April 11, 2016

11 Reasons Given By Monkey for Drop Kicking Dude

Huffpo posted a story about a monkey that drop kicked an unsuspecting pedestrian walking across the street. The big queston on everyone's mind is...WHY? Well we don't know, and may never know, but if we did know, we're pretty sure we know what he'd say...
February 22, 2016

11 Excuses From a Company Over Snake Head in Bean Can…..

Huffpo reports that A woman found a snake head in a can of green beans. Needless to say she didn't enjoy or appreciate it. We didn't really talk to the company executives over at the Western Family Green Beans co, but if we had, these would be some of the excuses they would have made for the incident.
February 19, 2016

11 Rejected Campaign Slogans For Hookers Backing Hillary

From the files of "stay off my side" a group of sex workers from the Bunny Ranch has started a group called Hookers for Hillary, and yes, they're backing Hillary Clinton for President. The HfH came up with some great ideas for campaign slogans for Hillary, but nothing yet that they are ready to implement. We went through their trash and found some of the rejected Hillary Clinton campaign slogans. Here are 11.
February 16, 2016

13 Excuses Why Dude Skipped Work For 20 Years

A man in Spain managed to skip work for twenty years, while he kept collecting a paycheck and nobody noticed until they decided to throw him a party to celebrate his years of "faithful" service. (Read more here.) When asked to explain why he was a no show, he may have been overheard making these excuses...
February 13, 2016

12 Signs You Could Be Alone on Valentine’s Day

Does it feel like everyone has a Valentine's day plan but you? Do you hate being alone while everyone else crams into overstuffed restaurants with hiked up prices and standardized specials? Are you afraid you'll miss out on romantic strolls and movie dates and other "fun"?
February 1, 2016

Meme’d From the Headlines: Reactions to Open Air Urinals

Just in time for Super Bowl 50, San Francisco is breaking out something new! Open air urinals! Piss right out on the sidewalk with all the easy you want and all the privacy you need. Our meme'd from the headlines team got some early reactions to the new "restrooms".
December 29, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: NYE in Times Square

It's New Years Eve and you've made the decision to do it this year-- you're spending the night in Times Square. Then you get there and it's cold, and crowded and you can't go pee, and there are creeps squishing up against you. But as long as you're there, here's a handy checklist of things that are signs its time to head out. 13 things you don't want to hear while standing in Times Square on New Years Eve.
December 22, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: Bad Store Santas

There are a lot of store Santa's out there. Some of them are saints, and some of them are drunks. And some of them are saints and drunks. How do you tell if your store's Santa is a good santa or a bad santa? Here's a few tips.
December 12, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: Skydiving Without a Chute

Huffpo did a story about a new crazy sport- sky diving without a parachute. Sound crazy? Yep. His life depends on two men who do have parachutes 'catching' him after he drops through the clouds. We read the manual for skydiving without a chute and there's some fine print you will want to know about before you take the plunge.
December 10, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: Pizza School!

Big news in the pizza-verse! Now you can get a degree in pizza! Just think of the possibilities! A degree every college student can pass. But what will be taught? What is there to learn? Puh-lenty!
November 29, 2015

Meme’d From The Headlines: Scented Underwear

From the files of things you had no idea you needed or wanted, comes the newest product sensation, bacon scented underwear for men. If you're thinking to yourself-- I wonder what other ideas they went through and rejected before settling on bacon-- then you're reading our minds. We went deep undercover to find out.
November 28, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: Overdone Thanksgiving?

Every year Bob Belcher overdoes Thanksgiving on Bob's Burgers. He's not the only man in America- real or drawn- who gets carried away. Millions of you overshoot the mark too. Here are some signs that like Bob, you're taking it all too far.
November 24, 2015

Meme’d From the Headlines: Taco Bell Improvements

Not long ago, Taco Bell announced they would be switching to free range eggs. Now with the success of the free range egg campaign, Taco Bell is secretly meeting to plan a dozen more upgrades to their ingredients. We hid out under stairways and in bathroom stalls to get the info, because we care that much. Here are some of the other improvements under consideration.