Throughout my years performing stand up comedy and covering the sport of mixed martial arts I have noticed a few parallels between the two arts. For one, it takes balls. .000001% of the population has the testicular fortitude to step on stage to tell jokes or to get into a cage and stand across from a trained death machine and go to war. Also, for both it's really hard in the beginning. There is no money in either game and you suck at it. You are either bombing in front of shitty crowds or getting the shit beat out of you day in and day out in training. But you keep coming back all of the love of the sport. Comedians are super heroes with their words. Fearless, quick witted, and unrelentless. Mixed martial artists are modern day gladiators. Warriors who put their lives on the line every time they step into the cage. However, there are a few rare specimens that could kick ass on the mic and in the cage. Here is my list of the top 5 funniest comedians that could have possibly, maybe, but probably not had successful careers in mixed martial arts.