Socially distancing from reality seems like a dream, right? How many Friday afternoons did you cry at the fact that you have plans, when all you wanted to do was watch Netflix on your couch with a bottle of wine and no obligations? Well… I guess we all need to be careful what we wished for because that’s our current reality with COVID-19 until 2048 with. Kidding… I hope. I figured because since there are no stand-up shows, podcast tours, or sets to go to with everything shut down — comedians are most likely going stir crazy. And since I’m a nosy bitch, I had to find out just how they were passing the time. As always, I’m Kashmere and these are the Social Distancing Dispatches.
Next up, we have the amazing Alison Leiby! A hysterical stand-up who just recently opened for Ilana Glazer, you may also know her from writing on the hilarious shows The President Show and The Opposition. Currently, she’s a writer on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (one of my faves!) and when she’s not working, she’s making me extremely jealous via her Instagram Stories by posting the most delicious meals and cocktail concoctions ever. Alison, if you’re reading this, drop the cookbook NOW. Goop who? JK, Gwyneth, don’t sue me. Be sure to follow Alison on Twitter and Instagram so you can be sure to see her live soon when we’re allowed to do that again!
I mean how prepared were you for this? Did you have toilet paper at the ready or were you panic running around to bodegas trying to find like, ramen noodles? I was pretty prepared. Not to brag, but I ALWAYS have enough toilet paper in my house, pandemic or not. I was also okay on food because I like to go grocery shopping and then as soon as I get it all and am ready to cook decide to go out that night.
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you feel like this is your thrive time or are you making up conversations with inanimate objects. Probably a little of both. I have zero problem killing a few days straight by watching tv, but I also love attention. I’m sorry, I don’t love attention, I NEED it. That’s where my many houseplants come in as audience members for me to talk out my neuroses.
Are you quarantined alone or with roommates? What’s your favorite/least favorite part of your situation. I live alone, something I’m normally so happy about and now it’s a little…dark. I’m reveling in the fact that no one is here to judge me and my tv/music/activities are completely up to me and no one else gets to weigh in and make me stop rewatching Nip/Tuck for a third time through on Hulu. However, it’s extremely boring and video chatting and calling friends is only really so much of a bandaid for missing human contact. Also I have to do ALL the dishes EVERY time. Brutal.
Have you come up with a random quarantine meal/snack that you would never eat during your normal day-to-day? My quarantine diet is better than my normal diet because I’m home and have the time to cook instead of rushing from work out to do stand up or meet up with friends. So yeah, my random quarantine meals are these elaborate healthy meals with lots of vegetables that take time to prepare. My normal day to day is mostly going out for tacos and eating whatever old clementine is in my purse from earlier that week.
The most random show that you’ve found solace in during this… no need to be embarrassed, I’m rewatching Real Housewives of Atlanta to feel right now. Bravo is thriving, and thus so am I, but that isn’t new. I’m big into rewatching things I’ve seen before because it provides some kind of weird comfort and certainty that the rest of the world just doesn’t have right now. I’m rewatching Mad Men right now and it’s like “Man, I would kill to be back in an office being treated less than for being a woman. Imagine, going to work!”
Has your quarantine had a signature cocktail? I’ve been doing cherry vodka and Diet Coke because I can’t take the New Jersey out of me. Anything and everything. My recycling looks like I run a nightclub.
I know we should all just be lucky to just have to stay inside, but this is your free pass to vent: what is pissing you off the most about being quarantined. Did you have a cancelled trip? Dream gig coming up? I was just starting to get a little traction with a new stand up hour/one woman show I had been working on and had some dates in and out of town coming up for it. I’m really bummed about pushing pause on it, but whenever live performance is back, that show will be. It’s about abortion, and even during the pandemic it’s been a hot topic, so I’m not worried, just annoyed.
What do you want to accomplish during this time that you have been putting off because you “don’t have the time”? Sleep.