Socially distancing from reality seems like a dream, right? How many Friday afternoons did you cry at the fact that you have plans, when all you wanted to do was watch Netflix on your couch with a bottle of wine and no obligations? Well… I guess we all need to be careful what we wished for because that’s our current reality with COVID-19 until 2048 with. Kidding… I hope. I figured because since there are no stand-up shows, podcast tours, or sets to go to with everything shut down — comedians are most likely going stir crazy. And since I’m a nosy bitch, I had to find out just how they were passing the time. As always, I’m Kashmere and these are the Social Distancing Dispatches.
Next up we have the amazing Alise Morales. Alise is braver than most of us because she spends the majority of her days keeping up with the news, which is about as terrifying a feat as checking your bank account after a weekend out (remember going out?). With that, she is the co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast and also is the writer of their hysterical-and-informative daily newsletter. On top of that, she’s the voice of AOC on Our Cartoon President and just launched a Patreon full of things to occupy your time while in quarantine. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter and let’s get into how she’s been spending her time! (Also it should be known that she hosts one of my favorite live shows, The Roast of Your Teenage Self, which is a must-see when live shows exist again).
I mean how prepared were you for this? Did you have toilet paper at the ready or were you panic running around to bodegas trying to find like, ramen noodles? So, because I cover the news I think I got alerted to where we were headed a little earlier than your average person meaning I went to the grocery store a crucial 48 hours before the rest of the world. My fiancé and I are currently luxuriating in our Bushwick one bedroom with plenty of toilet paper, water bottles, and non-perishable food items. It’s truly the one time my news obsession has ever helped us (though I did read a tweet last week that made me fly into a panic and take out a large some of cash from my bodega’s $10 atm which in retrospect might have been an overreaction).
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you feel like this is your thrive time or are you making up conversations with inanimate objects. I hate to be one of those “I’ve been training for social isolation my whole life” people but…I am. I don’t really identify with the introvert/extrovert binary (SORRY!) but as a Taurus I feel uniquely qualified to wait this entire thing out absolutely unbothered in my house with my toilet paper taking upwards of 7 bubble baths per day.
Is your lockdown a table for one or are you doing it with roommates / a significant other? What’s the best/worst part of whichever of either doing it alone or with someone. I am locked in with my fiancé and my cat and it’s actually going pretty smoothly! We both work from home a lot so we know how to co-habitate during the work day and despite having a relatively small space are good at leaving each other the fuck alone, which is key. That’s my only advice to couples during this time: leave each other the fuck alone.
Have you come up with a random quarantine meal/snack that you would never eat during your normal day-to-day? One fun thing about quarantine is that I eat a full meal every 2 minutes, and it’s never the same thing. Something just comes over me and I black out only to wake up having just finished a bowl of yogurt with rice in it. There’s no rhyme or reason. Pure madness.
The most random show that you’ve found solace in during this… no need to be embarrassed, I’m rewatching Real Housewives of New Jersey to feel right now. My fiancé and I are currently rewatching all of Boy Meets World on Disney Plus and I couldn’t recommend it more highly. We just got to the high school years, which is obviously the best part. Every day is just a countdown until the episode where Shawn joins a cult, which is absolutely one of my favorite pieces of television ever. If I’m desperate enough I’ll watch it live on Instagram.
Be honest: when do you start drinking, and how many bottles of wine have you had? A local restaurant we really enjoy (Petra in Brooklyn!) started selling off its wine bottles at half price and we bought five. You know, to help out small businesses.