Liz’s Listicles: Bad Bucket List Goals

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Liz Barrett is a New-York based stand-up comedian and writer. Liz is deadpan, dry, engaging, and offers shrewd observations about life and womanhood. You’ll remember her one-liners long after you see her. Liz has appeared on AXS-TV Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die and New York Post Videos. You can also hear her on SiriusXM. Liz’s Listicles will appear on theinterrobang.com monthly.  Follow Liz on @LizComedy and on Instagram @LizComedy.

Are you just trying to make it through these days? Are you just hanging on and ready to fall out of the unstable hammock that is life? Are you tired of feeling like you need to be perfect? Comedian Liz Barrett is here to help. Each month, Liz will help you not live your best life, but a perfectly fine one.

 

This month Liz’s Listicles offers really bad ideas for your bucket list. 

I hate the term bucket list. If you’re not familiar with the term, God bless you. Otherwise, you know it’s a list of things you want to accomplish before you kick the proverbial “bucket,” or in layman’s terms, die. Usually a very enthusiastic, skinny 25-year-old woman shares her bucket list on TikTok while skydiving. I couldn’t tell you what my lifetime goals are because I’m just getting through Tuesday afternoon. So I may not have any goals, but I did think of some terrible life experiences to put on your bucket list. And once you’re done with these, you’ll probably want to die anyway.

Bad Bucket List Goals

Get stabbed in the hand at a poker game

Become King of the Whoppers

Develop fungus toe from walking through a NYC puddle

Get Tased

Save up to visit Wichita, Kansas

Learn how to jump from one rooftop to another 

Become friends with your 3rd grade bully

Lose a finger to a Mexican kidnapper 

Bathe in glitter and spend the rest of your life finding glitter on your body

7 years, 7 surgeries

Change your name to Fred Dickenballs

 

Comedian Liz Barrett (Sirius XM, Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die) wants people to stop being perfect, and start being real. Follow Liz @lizcomedy on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. 

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Liz Barrett
Liz Barrett