Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
November is finally upon us! Is it just me, or did Halloween last legitimately 80 years this year? Like it reached the point that if I saw someone dressed up today, I wouldn’t even be shocked, it would just be the reality of our new world order. In case you were wondering, I did go as Judge Judy Garland to two parties and people kind-of got it which is a win for me! My night started Mad Men style but did end up ending Mad Max style which means I was dirty and deranged in the back of an UberPool on the hunt for fries. Which means I’m in the perfect headspace for some gossip!
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
Because I have been told I don’t give fall enough love and junp immediately into Holiday mode, I do want to give a shout out to apple cider. Pour yourself a glass of that with an apple cider doughnut too — while I start slowly putting up Christmas decorations.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Meghan Markle’s Family Is Still Awful |While I wanted to start with a breakdown of celebrity costumes, of course Meghan Markle is still dominating headlines — this time cause her estranged, half-brother used her to star in a beer commercial all about stealing from royals. At least it wasn’t IRL, yet.
Caitlyn Jenner Is Going Overseas | No, she’s not joining the royal family and no, there’s not a new draft happening — Jenner is joining the cast of “I’m A Celebrity — Get Me Out of Here!” for a payday of over half-a-million. She’s turned down this show in the past before, but now I guess needs some cash. After doing this and The Roast in the same year I guess we can confirm she’s officially off the Kardashian Direct Deposit.
Kanye Created His Own Fyre Fest | Shockingly, people aren’t pleased with Kanye West’s “Brunchella.” This is sort of like when your friend gets bangs and then is upset they spent money on bangs — you knew what you were getting into. The pictures speak for themselves, which basically look like if Denny’s got into the frozen food game.
Anne Hathaway’s Ex Sucks | Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway’s Ex, is apparently writing a tell-all book about her. While he has a hot name, I feel like this the most genius idea — cause tbh I feel like the only gossip we will get from that is what kind of Chobani yogurt she likes.
Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee| If you’ve always felt more Sandra than Rizzo, than you’re in luck — her original costume is being auctioned off for the low price of $405K. Honestly? I’m shocked a celebrity didn’t scoop this up for an obnoxiously expensive Halloween costume.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
This week is all about trust and how you can trust truly no one. Besides Ina Garten, cause I can’t imagine the Barefoot Contessa running a tell-all book about anyone besides maybe a fast-food chain’s lack of proper preparation in their kitchen
Blast From the PAST:
In honor of the holiday season OFFICIALLY ARRIVING, the throwback for us all is, of course Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You.” It’s been changing the game for 25 years, and I will not judge you for a second if you listen to it every other song today.
Stream or Scream?:
Okay, no one loves Ariana Grande more than me. Actually, I’m sure a lot of people do, but what I mean is I love that girl and only wish her well and I play all of her songs 50 times over. With that being said, the executively-produced soundtrack by her for the new Charlie’s Angels movie has come out and I’m… on the fence about it. The songs are good but not bangers, but maybe they’re what’s best for the films artistic vision? She is a modern day Orson Welles, after-all. Listen to it and let me know what you think!