Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
And just like that, WE’RE BACK! Apologies for the radio silence last weekend, but if you aren’t familiar, that past Sunday was Pride — which means Kashmere was nowhere near a computer. Instead, he was squeezed up at a bar shouting for another $5 Cosmopolitan because what else would Carrie Bradshaw do on a Sunday? Cut to me calling out of work and life unable to do anything besides order Postmates and text my Uber driver if he felt the same spark as me.
But TODAY I am charged up! I just got back from doing my monthly show Pass The Aux in Philly (!!!) a city I now consider home. It’s a deep dive into a diva, and you know we pulled out all the stops for this months theme: Beyoncé. If you’re in New York and want to see the liiiight-choreo I learned for this show, come to our next show at Union Hall on July 25th. Now enough about me (even though you know I can go on, let’s get into some gossip).
Taylor Swift In Music Battle Over Life’s Discography. Taylor Swift can’t seem to catch a break lately, which is surprising for a pretty, white girl who grew up on a Christmas tree farm. It’s not going to be a White Christmas this year, though, and even if it is — someone else will be cashing out the Venmo of all the money she’d get from her cover of that song. This is because Scooter Braun (Ariana Grande’s manager) bought out her entire life’s work — including every song she’s released since pre-2019. My main takeaway? People are named Scooter? Since when? Read more here.
“I Don’t Know Her”: Gwyneth Paltrow’s Career Amnesia Strikes Again. I feel like it was just yesterday that we saw the clip where someone had to remind Gwyneth Paltrow that she was in Spider-Man. In her defense, caring about your skin care process is a full time job — a fact I’m trying to tell the IRS to no avail. But Ms. GOOP failed to recognize a past costar multiple times, according to Sebastian Stan — which he then called her out for lightly on Instagram. In her defense? I thought Sebastian Stan was a character from The Little Mermaid. Read the comment and more here.
Ariana Grande Has Some Tears Left to Cry This Weekend. As someone who went to Ariana Grandeur’s Sweetener Tour this past month, let me tell you I now know what it means to Stan. I would pay Ariana’s phone bill, let her have the last slice of avocado toast, you know, real millennial ways to show I love. And she could use a little more love right now, because last night she broke down in tears during one of her songs. The song is from her happy-engaged album, so it sort of makes sense. The last time I cried on stage was when I asked the audience if I was pulling off my sweater and a girl said “sure.” I’ll never forget you, Sarah. Read more here.
Nicki Minaj Wants Her Own Challenge Too, Damnit!. Me and Nicki Minaj both frequently agree on things. That life doesn’t treat us with the respect we deserve, that tossing salads in any form is delicious, and we should get our own trending hashtag. That’s why Nicki just tried to recreate her own viral challenge #MegatronChallenge to break the Internet and also get people to maybe realize she has a new song out. The winner gets ten grand so BRB, practicing my freestyle… and I ain’t talking swimming pools. Is that anything? Check out this thread with some entries here.
Accidental Meme Queen Mariah Carey Won the Internet. Speaking of internet challenges, the major one of the past week was the #BottleCapChallenge where people try and kick off a bottle cap with their foot? I don’t support this cruelty to Diet Coke. Anyway, Mariah Carey did her own spin on it and hands down won. Take a look for yourself here and remember, SOUND ON.