Did You Hear? With Kashmere! July 22, Witch Trials, Blue Balls and More

Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”

Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.


If I look different emotionally while you’re reading this weeks column, it’s because I just survived the heat wave that took over all of New York and the world. I feel like because of how much I sweat I lost 400 pounds, but might have rather broke even with all of the frose I consumed in efforts to stay somewhat cold.  Because I guess I want to know, ‘how much hotter and humid can a day be?’ I’m raising the stakes and going to New Orleans this weekend. Yikes. I head out Friday, the day after my show at UNION HALL on Thursday at 8PM, so let me know if you have any recommendations to do there/staying cool tips/want to just laugh at how much I sweat through Instagram stories. Follow me on Instagram here and lets get into some gossip!

Big Little Lies Finale Left Everyone Wanting More. Did you all watch the finale last night? If you didn’t, I’m so jealous. Please take me back in time and tell me to just watch the episode of Sex and the City where she gets too drunk at Vogue. I mean, Laura Dern made this entire season’s existence justifiable, whereas every other storyline was just… pointless. And I won’t spoil, but that ending scene was the definition of #BigLittleBlueBalls. Read my recap on Betches here

Cardi B Breaks Records and Breaks Down. Cardi has a lot to be proud about — most recently, the fact that she sold out the Mid State fair in just two hours. This is the first time tickets have sold out that fast and also the first time I’ve heard about something called a Mid State fair. Mazel Tov. but with that popularity, obviously comes some haters. Especially for her — who’s on trial currently and constantly a lightning rod for the press, which is why she quickly tweeted-and-deleted “I wish I were dead,” leaving her fans running to her side. Can Cardi catch a break? Read more here.

Katy Perry Is On Trial for Maybe Being a Stealing Witch. We all know by now my love for KP runs river deep, mountain high. I stand by the fact that her documentary tour movie should have won fifteen Oscars, and it is serves as a modern day Citizen Kane in terms of importance. Well, she didn’t have time to rewatch it this weekend because she’s another celeb being dragged to court — this time by a gospel singer who thinks her song ‘Dark Horse’ copied his music. On top of that, he claims that she talks too much about witchcraft and sins in the songs, ruining his vibe. Katy, please just hire Mariah Carey as your lawyer and hit him with an “I don’t know her,” because let’s be real. Check up on the case here.

Taylor Swift is Again Involved in the Presidential Race. Looks like Swiifties are down to get political! They’ve been engaging with a candidate all weekend. I know, you’re wondering: over student loan forgiveness? Climate change policies? Thoughts on human rights? Close, but not at all! Rather, they’re attacking Kamala Harris because she was at an event hosted by Swift’s new enemy, Scooter Braun. I’m sure Harris is well versed in this feud, since it started on Taylor’s Tumblr account — Kamala’s go to news source. I’m requiring every person who tweeted at Kamala Harris that they’re mad at her for going to this event should be forced to read the New York Times every day for two weeks straight. As Beyoncé would say, lets get in formation kids. Learn more here.

It Was A Weekend to Marvel At Marvel . You guys, superheroes are woke now. After getting the news that Ariel in The Little Mermaid would be played by a woman of color, I think we all assumed that it would be the last progressive step from a film studio until like, production on John Wick 18 starts and they have no other storyline left but to make him queer. Well, we don’t have to wait for that anymore – because Marvel made a ton of announcements at Comic Con that made fans excited. The most major one? That Natalie Portman will be playing Thor. Lets bring those Black Swan muscles back to life! Natalie used to critique Marvel movies, but I’m glad we both have the same principle when it comes to accepting offers: let me take a stand and also get paid millions of dollars. Read their other reveals here!

 

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Experience life in the FAB lane. He's fashion forward and knows his way around the red carpets of comedy. It's Kashmir
Danny Kashmere
Danny Kashmere
Experience life in the FAB lane. He's fashion forward and knows his way around the red carpets of comedy. It's Kashmir