Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
This weekend has been a WEEKEND. First off, it was gorgeous in New York — which brought out my innermost Under the Tuscan Sun energy. I truly think I spent 86% of Saturday and Sunday sitting with a breeze and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc in hand. Side note, when I inevitably try to become a rapper, would Sauvvie B be a good stage name for that? I think it has more legs than my wine. Anyway, enough about me (because I truly could go on about myself for another fifteen paragraphs), let’s get into some of the crazy stories from this weekend. And trust me, THEY’RE JUICY.
And after you read all the craziness, be sure to check out my new podcast episode this week with NANCY GRACE. The queen of true crime. She compliments me and then insults me but then compliments me again so I think we’re roommates now. Listen here!
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Call It Quit
Earlier in her career, Miley released a song called “The Climb,” all about making it through tough times. I can only assume we’ll now get a remixed version with some details to divorce court and pre-nubs. But seriously, I cancelled my brunch plans on Sunday to sit in bed and process this news because THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. Liam has seen her with 500 different hair styles and grinding on Robin Thicke, why now? Read more about how they’re separating less than a year after they officially tied the knot here.
And Then, Miley Made Out With Brody Jenner’s Ex
Never one to waste time or a headline, Miley gave us a 2-for-1 deal this weekend by not only announcing her separation from Liam Hemsworth, but also making out with Brody Jenner’s ex, Kaitlynn Carter. Funny enough, Kaitlynn and Brody called it quits just a few weeks ago — so I guess they’re bonding over hating men and loving to kiss girls. I love it! Also, if Brody and Liam want revenge on them I’m happy to host their exploration into same-sex making out. I’ll bring the White Claws. Read up and see the pictures for yourself here!
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry Apparently Make Out Over Passed Apps
Who’s having a worse year than Meghan Markle? Okay, a lot of people are. But for being royalty, she certainly gets treated like everything but. The tabloids rip her apart, her new and old family love to hate her, and now her friends are trashing our Suits queen. Some of this I get, because the last thing I want to see when I’m deep-throating a tub of Sabra hummus at a party is two people making out. On the other hand, these friends seem kind of insane. One is mad that they ‘insist on sitting next to each other,’ when… I feel like that’s what couples do, let alone royal ones? Read about her fake friends here.
Taylor Swift Finally Won the Internet By Being Drunk
Usually when you hear about a celebrity being filmed while drunk, they’re falling out of a black car and you’re kind of depressed about it. Additionally, when you hear a celebrity is drunk, the last one you think of is Taylor Swift — isn’t she home measuring the perfect 1.5 spoonfuls of sugar to put in her tea with her British beau? She wasn’t this weekend, apparently, because she was busy drinking and dancing (obviously to her own songs) with some celeb friends. Good for you, #DrunkTaylor — invite a girl next time. Check out the footage here.
Jeffrey Epstein’s Alleged Suicide Has Conspiracy Theorists Going Crazy
If you somehow didn’t hear, Jeffrey Epstein died this weekend after an alleged suicide. He was supposed to be on suicide watch, but wasn’t… which is the first red flag. Regardless of that, the Internet is flooding with theories as to why — and everyone from politicans to your Aunt Paula want answers. Lets see if we get any — read some of them here.