Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
Well, Super Tuesday just happened and now I think we are all in desperate need of a Wine Wednesday. It is funny because us New Jerseans were not one of the states to vote yesterday, further proving that the country doesn’t trust us to either vote for a President or pump our own gas. Honestly, I get it.
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
Britney Spears’ Instagram presence is back in a big way — with her posting multiple photos in a row with captions about her grandmother’s bathing suit and Albert Einstein. In honor of this behavior, I decided this weeks cocktail will be a Picture Perfect Pointsetta. Don’t know WTF a pointsetta is? It’s basically a mimosa but instead of Orange Juice, throw a splash of cranberry in there. Your UTIs will thank me later.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
John Mulaney is Defending Pete to SNL Cast | it’s always important to have backup, especially when you go on and sort of bash your coworkers in a highly-viewed interview, so this makes sense. Mulaney allegedly reminded cast members that SNL is “cut through and hard” so it’s only fair that he would rip you all apart.
Prince Andrew Will Miss the Family Reunion | It looks like the recent birthday boy will not be attending the final event Meghan and Harry will be doing as part of the Royal Family, because uh, you know, “a conflict.” Which is British for “his history with Jeffrey Epstein and underaged girls.”
Carrie Underwood ate as few as 800 calories a day after ‘American Idol’ | Of course this is sad and awful a sign of the industry but is it bad that another part of me is like, wait how? I usually clock around 900 cals per meal.
NeNe Leakes, Wendy Williams make amends after ‘RHOA’ announcement | This just goes to show that no matter who wins the 2020 election, love really does conquer all.
Britney Spears ponders removing the dice tattoo she shares with Kevin Federline | Its officially time to get back on Britney and more importantly, back on her instagram cause the posts are going off once again.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
Overall, the important lesson we learned from celebrities this week? Keep your friends close, and your friends who are more successful than you closer.
Blast From the PAST:
In honor of Britney’s tattoo dilemma, let us please look back and remember when Ariana Grande got “BBQ grill” on her hand instead of the name of her #1 song.
Stream or Scream?:
I just binged The Stranger on Netflix and you’re gonna want to STREAM it fast. It was such a good thriller and the people were british too, which is always a plus.