Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
Time flies when you’re socially distancing, right? I mean, both right and so wrong — because while I feel like I have been sitting on my couch for an eternity already, it’s somehow only been a week? I hope wherever you are quarantined you have great snacks, drinks, dogs and WiFI — because it seems like we will be doing this for a while! If you get lonely, apparently FaceTime dates are a new trend, so I guess there’s a reason to take a shower and learn how to FaceTime.
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
Vanessa Hudgen’s publicist most definitely needs a drink right now, because in case you missed it, the High School Musical star went on Instagram Live and talked about how coronavirus isn’t a big deal because “people die, it’s inevitable.” For this i’d give her Diet Coke for a caffeine kick, some red wine to curb the emotions, and a shot of vodka and whipped cream on top because come on, girl it’s time to just fully snap like your talent has.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Amanda Bynes Has A Bynes in the Oven | Because 2020 is constantly looking for ways to upstage itself it decided to throw an Amanda Bynes pregnancy into the mix! The nws was announced on her ex-fiance’s Instagram, and I am fully convinced that this child is one of the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse ready to take us all.
Idris Elba Gives Coronavirus Update| I’m very grateful that in these scary, trying times — we are all banning together to keep our celebrities safe. Idirs Elba got a coronavirus test for no reason, but it turned out he did have it and is asymptomatic, so basically he doesn’t have any of the symptoms. Unfortunately he still suffers from the disease that makes him want to be a DJ.
Beverly Mitchell Has Sponsored Pregnancy Post| While sponsored content is almost part of the job requirement now for celebrities in terms of them making a buck, you’d think some things are sacred… like a pregnancy announcement. Not for Bev Mitch, 7th Heaven royalty! She posted a picture with #pregnant and #ad in the same sentence, and that is motherly love if I’ve ever seen it before.
Savannah Guthrie is Anchoring TODAY From Her Basement| She said she woke up not feeling well, so she decided to stay at home and broadcast from her basement. Basically, she is now your dead beat cousin, playing Xbox in the basement at 4 AM.
Kathy Griffin’s Mom Maggie Passes Away at 99 | RIP to a hysterical legend in her own right, and I’m happy that she lived a long, happy and wine-filled life!
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
This week’s lesson? If you’re a celebrity, nothing bad can happen to you! What a dream.
Blast From the PAST:
In honor of everyone either at home or in masks, lets flash back to about ten years ago when The Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were also seen walking around in masks due to Swine Flu. Maybe this will be a new thing for the world: another decade, another disaster?
Stream or Scream?:
Since you are all home and looking for anything to pass the time, why not STREAM my new podcast episode with genius Harlan Coben!? He’s a thriller writer and dished about working for Netflix, Jennifer Saunders, and we also unpack a crazy case about lesbians and a pregnancy scam. It’s a treat.