Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
As Lil Kim once said — I was gone for a minute, now I’m back with the jump off. That is basically me, except for in lieu of rapping I am returning to deliver all the gossip and insanity from the world of celebrities to you all! As always, no one is safe — from EGOT-ers to washed up reality TV stars. Let’s get into it.
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
Did you participate in Dry January? If so, I’m very sorry for your loss — because I don’t know how you survived the coldest, longest month without a glass of Sauv Blanc at the end of the day. I decided to make it a Damp January which was coated in vermouth, but regardless — we made it through! In honor of all of you who did a little cleanse, pop open a few bubbles to celebrate. It’s Prosecco time!
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Meghan and Harry May Already Be Getting Replaced| They waste no time over in England, apparently! Buckingham Palace is already eyeing Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie to take over the royal duties that the new Canadian Citizens just gave up. My thoughts? Can we just end the royal family, already? I don’t think anyone needs to hear a Beatrice’s take on taxes. Read more here.
Tommy Davidson & Will Smith Almost Fought Over Jada | In his new memoir, Davidson reveals that he surprised Jada with a kiss while filming for their “characters,” which didn’t go over that well with her. Will also was obviously not pleased, causing a fight to almost break out in Davidson’s trailer. I guess this was before Men In Black came out and we all realized just how many abs Will Smith has.
David Schwimmer Tried to Make ‘Friends’ Woke| Ah, Ross, always the good guy! David Schwimmer opened up in an interview that said he tried to make the creators and writers of Friends add more people of color on the show. He is so far silent on the fact if he tried to tell them to make the show actually funny.
T.I. Finally Apologizes for Gross Comments About Daughter’s Virginity | If you forgot, or rather — blocked out of your memory — T.I. made headlines a few months ago after he said he goes with his daughter to get her hymen checked every year to make sure she’s still a virgin (we guess he doesn’t know just how many kinds of sex exists). He has finally posted about this incident, apologizing after some introspection in the wake of Kobe Bryant’s death.
Evan Rachel Wood Faces Backlash for Kobe Bryant Comments | Obviously, the entire world was in mourning on Sunday with the tragic loss of Kobe Byrant, his daughter, and everyone else involved in the helicopter incident. Evan Rachel Wood, unable to read a room, apparently, took this time to tweet: “He was a sports hero. He was also a rapist.” — Talk about not the time.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
Honestly, the biggest takeaway? Don’t tweet every thought you have.
Blast From the PAST:
The Grammys were this past weekend, and Billie Eilish completely swept the awards — taking home all four of the major category trophies. The only other person to achieve this feat? Christopher Cross, 39 years ago. The singer posted a major #TBT of himself from that year’s Grammys to honor Billie — let’s just hope she has a little more success than him.
Stream or Scream?:
Taylor Swift’s documentary Miss Americana comes out this Friday, and if the early reviews from Sundance are any indication — it is a much stream for fans and skeptics alike. I know I’ll be watching (with a glass of red and bucket of guacamole, like Swift would want).