Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
Is it just me or did February flash by in truly .08 seconds? Like, I’m pretty sure there are TikToks that are longer than this month. This just means that i hope everyone is jump-starting their 2020 goals sooner rather than later! Mine are to cancel more plans and do more face masks, and I can confidently say that I’m excelling in both departments.
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
In case you somehow missed this news, which I feel is impossible, let me fill you in: Harvey Weinstein was found GUILTY and will be going to JAIL! It goes to show that there could be 100 people in a room, and they all have to accuse a man of sexual assault for him to maybe go to prison for five years. In honor of the news, I decided this weeks drink has to be in honor of this amazing news so we are all making a WINE-TIME-JAIL-TIME. Get a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, mix it with some frozen cranberries, ice and a liight pour of seltzer and you are good to go. It’s not a true celebration until the entire bottle is gone, FYI.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Whitney Houston’s Hologram is a Mind F*ck | in things that shouldn’t be happening, Whitney Houston’s hologram has kicked off her tour. The reviews are in, and it’s neither right nor is it okay it seems. Fans are less curious and more furious about how this is even happening, and I’m in the same boat. Just watch her National Anthem ans call it a night, okay?
Harvey Weinstein’s Ex Has Moved On | His cell for didn’t even close and his ex found a new Oscar winner to cozy up to. It seems her and Adrian Brody are spending some time together, and were just spotted getting dinner in the city.
Amanda Bynes Tampon Was Seen in IHOP pictures! I feel like nothing good can happen at IHOP, especially when paparazzi is involved. Poor Amanda Bynes just wanted some o cakes in peace but of course was snapped by some photographers — but the main star of the pics? Her open tampon in her clear fanny pack.
Prince Andrew snubbed by siblings at 60th birthday party | Speaking if people ask disgusting as Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew just celebrated his birthday! We talked about how he had issues with the guest list, and turns out that even means his own family hadn’t RSVP’d. I hope the Long Island Medium was there so he could talk to his only friend Epstein.
Hilary Duff wants to change the law after photographer incident at son’s game | Hilary Duff is the queen of my world, so I’ll agree with anything she says. This past weekend she made headlines for filming a man taking pictures of her child’s football game saying it was weird and uncomfortable, and now she’s hoping to make legislative change. GET HER ON THE DEBATE STAGE YOU COWARDS.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
This weeks life lesson is definitely learning humility and when to call it. I’m big on one staying in their lane, and that even includes deceased icons like Whitney — we don’t need holograms on tour, but Prince Andrew probably needed them at his birthday.
Blast From the PAST:
With Amanda Bynes in the news again, we have to take a look back at her infamous tweet about Drake wanting to murder her vagina, which she regrets and has explained she was on drugs while sending. Which makes me feel awkward because I’ve 100% had that thought sober.
Stream or Scream?:
Are we streaming Pete Davidson’s new standup special? Alive From New York premiered this week on Netflix and reviews have been a mixed bag… so I may skip it to finish Love Is Blind. But if you do end up watching, let me know your thoughts at @kashmeredanny.