The 5: Jim David’s Five Most Unforgettable Cruise Destinations

Published by Interrobang Staff at April 22, 2021

Somewhere, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, armed with only a microphone, is Jim David, the bravest man in the world. Is it because he was born in the mid-20th century U.S. South, a gay male descendant of not-too-distant KKK members and Confederate soldiers? Nay. It is because, in the midst of a global pandemic, he took to the high seas, performing on a cruise ship to roast all people of all identities, and all complaints. He stands up for comedians’ rights to say what they want while sympathizing with the crew — who really do put up with a lot. “Gay Jokes for Straight Cruisers” is a true balm for what ails us, a year into The Great Quar: intimate, international, irrepressible comedy from a true professional.

Jim David, who is originally from Asheville, and lives in New York City, was the first openly gay man to have a Comedy Central special, in 2000. The comedy veteran has appeared on “The View,” “Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn,” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” His one-man comedy “South Pathetic” received rave reviews at the New York International Fringe Festival and the Provincetown Tennessee Williams Festival.

Comedians who perform on cruises used to have a reputation as being relegated to the lowest form of show business. That sure as hell ain’t the case anymore – with the advent of high end cruises, more discerning audiences and adults only shows comedians are free to say anything they can in any American club, and on a cruise they have the perks of a lighting, sound and backstage crew in a 1000 seat theater. You get to see the world and perform for an international audience. I’ve worked with Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr, Louie Anderson and many more on cruises, been all over the world and (this is a very tough call) these are the 5 most unforgettable places I’ve been on a cruise. The Earth is truly an incredible place and it’s worth preserving.

GALOPAGOS ISLANDS, ECUADOR

This nature preserve, an archipelago inhabited only by the planet’s strangest creatures, is one of the most astonishing places on Earth. Seals, lizards, blue footed boobies, the most intense snorkeling and breathtaking vistas amaze. Charles Darwin came up with the Origin Of The Species, aka evolution, after visiting this place, prompting some lunatic to spray paint “IT’S ONLY A THEORY!” on a rock.

ISTANBUL, TURKEY

Literally the crossroads between Europe and Asia, one of the world’s most disorienting cities, a bizarre mix of the western secular and the Islamic fundamentalist. You hear the Muslim call to prayer broadcast while standing in front of a McDonald’s. Exotic food, swarthy people and women dressed in both bikinis and burquas confuse the tourist. A visit to a 500 year old hammam (Turkish bath) with an intense soapy massage from a muscular Turk made me feel like I was in a James Bond film.

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

Forget the politics, go for the buildings. Russia has some of the most intense, beautiful architecture you will ever see, and the palaces of Catherine the Great and Peter the Great, with their literal gold plated rooms and ostentatious display of wealth, will make you completely understand why the peasants revolted.

VENICE, ITALY

See it while you still can – this incredible city built on water with canals and subject to an almost weekly sea level rise that floods the city, called “aqua alta” (high water), is one of the planet’s most beautiful and historic places. Walking through it is like being in an Italian opera.

VIETNAM

I could list any place I’ve been in Southeast Asia but Vietnam takes the cake for history, beauty and sheer strangeness to the Western visitor. Many people live in unbelievable poverty yet celebrate holidays like they’re millionaires. The countryside and beaches are breathtaking, and the cities have what are surely Earth’s most ludicrously tangled power lines. The Vietnamese people are very nice to American visitors, especially considering we almost destroyed their country.

Runner up:

BANGKOK, THAILAND

This Southeast Asian city is a wild mix of the ultra modern and the ancient, with 200 year old palaces settled next to W Hotels. Staggering heat and humidity, a legalized sex industry and the most exotic food on Earth (on the street you can buy fried roaches) make you feel like you’re living in the middle of “Blade Runner.” The next time I return I want to be high the whole time.