Liz’s Listicles: Comedian Liz Barrett on How to Bedeck Your Home so It’s Not A Wreck

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Liz Barrett is a New-York based stand-up comedian and writer. Raised in a military family and having moved all around the world, Liz is deadpan, dry, engaging, and offers shrewd observations about life and womanhood.  You’ll remember her one-liners long after you see her.   Liz has appeared on AXS TV Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die and New York Post Videos. You can also hear her on Raw Dog Comedy on SiriusXM.     Since 2013, Liz has produced her own monthly show Grin and Barrett which has been described as “puntastically named” and “one of the best shows in the city produced by a female comedian.” Liz’s Listicles will appear on theinterrobang.com monthly.  Follow Liz on Twitter @LizComedy and on Instagram @LizComedy.

Are you just trying to make it through these days? Are you just hanging on and ready to fall out of the hammock, which is life? Are you tired of feeling like you need to be perfect? Comedian Liz Barrett is here to help. Each month, comedian Liz Barrett will provide tips on how you can cut yourself some slack. With her tips, you will not be living your best life, but a perfectly fine life.

This month Liz’s Listicles tackles decorating!

HOW TO BEDECK YOUR HOME SO IT’S NOT A WRECK

Some people have perfect homes with new countertops, fingerprint-free stainless steel appliances, and massive, perfectly-organized closets. The rest of us are just trying to see if we can improve a room’s look by moving a pile of stuff from one side of the room to the other. So if your goal is “Let’s just make the place look better, not great”, here are my simple decorating tips to make your house look as inviting as you can on a budget, but not so fancy that your cousin stays on your couch for months.

Shop at any store with the words Dollar or Discount in the name. Dollar General, Dollar Tree, or Deals and Discounts not only have off brand items like Brallo, Shum-poo, and Thick Mints, but every decorating item you need. Go to the back of the store where household items are, and don’t be afraid of a fine layer of dust on the items. You will find cute placemats, candle holders, candles, and frames all for a few dollars. Will they last? No, but they’ll get you through the week.

Candles make even a dump look and smell better. Candles bring a little refinement and class to any hut or hovel. However, don’t have too many scents going at once. Also, don’t start a fire unless that is what your plan is.

This is a clip of crazy Martha Stewart making candles out of gourds. She even uses a cordless drill. Martha is making my point that Dollar Stores rule. Get your candles there. For gourd sakes, who has time for this?

Embrace whimsy. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious. I bought an $8 picture of a standing rabbit, in a cowboy hat, holding a tiny shovel. It’s hilarious.

You are always on your phone, use the goddamn pictures on it. Go old school and print out a photo from your phone, frame it, and make up a story about it.

Paint something for a “pop of color.” I want to cringe whenever I hear that phrase, but there is some truth. A pop of color will cheer up any room. Do you have an old wooden box, a milk can or a beat up end table? Paint it, and now you’re officially crafty.

Here’s a Friends episode called Dirty Girl. Rebecca Romjin stars as a girl Ross dates who lives in a disgusting apartment. Let’s all try to avoid this.

Throw some business to your local stoner dude who sells tie dyes. During this pandemic, with kids not in college, the demand for tie-dye is at an all time low. Help your local hippie, and buy a tie dye sheet. This colorful sheet can be used as a door, a couch cover, or a wall decoration.

Remember my Mom’s old adage about curtains. Moms say a lot of stuff, much of it wacky, but on this topic my Mom is on to something. She always told me that in a new apartment, put curtains up before doing anything else. It makes it look like you’re not waiting for the next bus out of town.

Limit inspirational quotes. Don’t have more than one inspirational quote in your house. Should I “Dance Like No One Is Watching” or “If You Stumble Make It Part of the Dance?” I’m so confused. Why if I stumble do I have to make it part of the dance if no one is watching? “Keep it Simple, Stupid.” There, have that one quote in your house.

Here’s just some fun inspirational quotes from The Office.

Books make you look smart. Put them in different directions on a shelf. Ooh, artsy.

Have at least one picture in your bathroom. Give your bathroom a little class. Guess what is in my bathroom? That’s right, the hilarious rabbit picture.

Comedian Liz Barrett (Gotham Comedy Live, Laughs on FOX, Lifetime, Funny or Die) wants people to stop being perfect, and start being real. On her new show Gettin’ By, Liz along with a funny guest, will cover a universal topic, with a comedic approach, and discuss how to relax, chill, and let the small stuff go. Next show September 2, 2020. Visit lizbarrettcomedy.com or follow Liz @lizcomedy on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook for details.

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Liz Barrett
Liz Barrett