Tuesday night, Bert Kreischer was a guest on Conan and O’Brien asked him the big questions like why do you take your shirt off, how did you become the top college partier in the United States in 1996 and how are you not dead?
“Why do you do this?” Conan asked about Kreischer’s penchant for taking off his shirt. “I dunno man, I like to party,” Bert said. “I found when I take my shirt off, people want to drink.”
Bert explained that he was not a good student, saying “I was in college longer than grunge music was around.” No, he wasn’t a good student. By way of example, he told Conan that he signed up for a Russian class, by accident, and it took him three classes before he even a realized it wasn’t Spanish. Which of course led to the greatest story ever told–the story of The Machine. Bert shared a short version of The Machine story with Conan’s audience that you can conveniently keep with you on your phone anytime you need to share the story with friends and family to get through a dull moment at a party.
No need to recap it here, if you read this site, you know all about the Machine. For those who don’t, you don’t need us to tell you about the time the sweetest man in comedy robbed a train full of his classmates with the Russian mob. Just watch the second clip below.