Wednesday February 1 Daily Links

WEDNESDAY 2.1
NEWS STORIES
Spiral in the Sky Over Hawaii
A weird whirlpool looking phenomenon was spotted over Hawaii in the night sky, and the explanation so far is that it has something to do with a Space X satellite launch, but not everyone’s buying that.
So Stargate is real.
School Food Supervisor Caught in Million Dollar Chicken Wing Ring
A former school official in Illinois is being accused of stealing about a million dollars worth of chicken wings. She ordered the wings but they never went to the schools.
And they didn’t even bring up the $400k worth of hot sauce and celery.
Florida Considering Getting Rid of Permit for Concealed Carry
Florida House Speaker Paul Renner is proposing legislation that would enable residents to carry concealed weapons without a permit. “What we’re about here today is a universal right that applies to each and every man or woman regardless of race, gender, creed or background.”
And why not since they’ve never had any bad gun shit go down in Florida.
Father of Peeps Died
Ira Born, who is the man who brought us the Peep, has died at the age of 98.
We knew it wasn’ going well when he started to turn from squishy to stiff.
Ted Cruz Not Apologizing Over Spreading BS Pelosi Theories
TMZ asked Ted Cruz if he was going to apologize for spreading speculation that Paul Pelosi was somehow involved or lying about the details of the hammer attack that put him in a hospital.
I wouldn’t apologize either if my dad killed JFK.
The Green Comet is Coming!
Everyone’s talking about the comet that will be making its first appearance visible to Earth since prehistoric times. The green comet will be passing by between Feb 1 and 2.
I hope its better than the Green Lantern
Eric Adams Weighs in on Empire State Tribute to the Eagles
New York Mayor Eric Adams said on Tuesday that lighting the Empire State Building green Sunday night to celebrate the Eagle’s win was “unacceptable.”
Way to be the last person on a story big E
Hellmann's Facebook Post About Discontinuing Mayo Causes Panic
Everyone freaked out after Hellman’s posted on Facebook that they were “discontinuing Hellmann’s until further notice” due to high inflation and import costs. Turns out they were only talking about sales in South Africa being discontinued.
The good news is you can still get Hellmans. The bad news is you can also still get Miracle Whip.
Hot Chick Murders Look Alike To Fake Her Own Death!?!?!
A German woman is accused of using Instagram to find a woman who looks just like her. Beauty blogger Khadidja O. was stabbed fifty times and left in the backseat of the perps car leaving authorities to believe it was her who was dead.
And she would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t 2023. Or any year after 1985. #fletch
SPORTS
James Dolan Hires Hope Hicks
Amid all the facial recognition fallout, Dolan hired former White House communications director Hope Hicks to help put a little spin on his image.
Well she’s doing a bang up job. Everyone loves you.
Sports Genius Tom Brady Explains SF Loss
Brady said the 9ers didn’t stand a chance once their third string quarterback was injured in this weekend’s game against Philly.
Is this what your 25 years of quarterbacking got you? The same analysis a child could pick up?
Broncos Seal Sean Payton Deal
ESPN reported that it’s a done deal, Sean Payton will be the new Head Coach for the Denver Broncos.
You understand your QB is Mr. Unlimited right?
22 Year Old Coach Pretends Shes 13 Year Old Player
Junior Varsity coach Arlisha Boykins was fired from her job at a Virginia High School after she pretended she was a player during a game.
Oh man, not even varsity?
Listen to Bill Walton Loving Bridges
Walton was hosting an alternate broadcast of the Suns-Raptors game when he decided to riff a little using Suns forward Mikhail Bridges name to segue into a little bridge love. “Bridges! I love Bridges! Golden Gate Bridge, Coronado Bridge, the Natural Bridges, the George Washington Bridge, the Brooklyn Bridge,” Walton added.
How could you leave out Todd Bridges?
Sounds like there’s been a fire…. A fire on the mountain.
Congressman Complains About Refs in KC Game
Congressman Mark Alford stood on the floor of the House of Representatives and made the allegation that the refs in the KC-Cincy game had it in for the Chiefs. “Last night, despite having an injured Patrick Mahomes, injuries to several key players, incredible amounts of outside noise, and the referees against them the entire game, the Chiefs made short work of the Bungles,” Alford said. “I mean Bengals, and then sent them off to the offseason. I hope Eli Apple has fun in Cancun. I also hope that mayor jabroni and the rest of Cincinnati’s fan base learned a valuable lesson last night. It is called Arrowhead. It is the loudest, toughest place to play in the NFL with the strongest fan base.”
Come on guys. Keep sports out of politics.
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Johnny Knoxville Shames Hulu
Reboot was critically acclaimed and award nominated, but after just one season Hulu decided to dump it. One of the show’s stars, Johnny Knoxville posted on Instagram that it was “Pretty unbelievable” that the series failed to get a season two pick up. “It’s not over yet though, as we tend to shop it around and hopefully it will find a home with a studio who believes in and knows how to properly support a new show as it continues to grow.”
When the head Jackass shames you… and he’s right…..someone needs to be fired.
Fourth Bad Boys Movie on the Way
Will Smith and Martin Lawrence announced that they are in for a fourth edition of their hit franchise “Bad Boys.”
I guess we know where Martin’s loyalties lie.
Bill Walton is baked out his mind talking about his love for bridges pic.twitter.com/RkVJPO2EtC
— Gifdsports (@gifdsports) November 27, 2017
Ashton Kutcher Confesses He Was Fucking Pissed at Demi
When Demi Moore’s book came out and included insider details about her marriage to Kutcher, he said he was cool with it, but now he admits he was “fucking pissed.” He said, ‘I’d finally gotten to a place where the press had really laid off me and [wife Mila Kunis], and my life and my family. And then the next day, [the paparazzi] are at my kids’ school,’
Why can’t you be more like Bruce Willis?
Academy Says Riseborough Nomination Stands
After a quick review of the situation the film Academy decided they will not yank Andrea Risenborough’s nomination for her role in the movie “To Leslie.”
And all the fuss may have even nudged her into the front runner position. You can’t buy this kind of press.
Hasan Minhaj Will Host Independent Spirit Awards
It’s been a big year for Minhaj whose critically acclaimed special The Kings Jester was released this year. The ceremony will be streamed live on YouTube and IMDb on March 4 at 2pm PST.
More people will see him at the comedy cellar.
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