Tuesday April 4 Daily Links
TUESDAY 4.4
NEWS STORIES
The Next Big Diet Drug is Already Here
Ozempic is old news, now the rich and powerful who want to lose weight have a new drug of choice, and it’s Mounjaro.
Looks like Bobby Kelly got his operation a little too soon.
Montana Train Derailment Spills Beer in River
A derailed train in Montana sent hundreds of boxes of Coors Light and Blue Moon into the Clark Fork River.
Guess in Montana a train derailment means you SHOULD drink the water. #keggerinthewoods
Marjorie Taylor Greene is One of the Worst Rated Guest of the Year on 60 Minutes
Many are calling for a CBS boycott after 60 Minutes gave a fluffy interview seat to Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Looks like Green means stop.
Webb Telescope Captures a Bend in Space Time
A bunch of galaxies 6.3 billion light-years away is so weighty that it’s actually bending space.
Seems like the universe is made out of LSD 25
How Is Trump Getting to Court?
The Don is spending the night at his Fifth Avenue apartment in Trump Tower, and then a very large contingent of secret security will escort him and his vehicle down Fifth Avenue to the New York courthouse for arraginment.
Anybody else would be on the subway.
SPORTS
UConn Wins
The Huskies beat San Diego State to win March Madness giving the school its fifth such title.
Coach said last week he wouldn’t change his undies till his team loses. Guess we’re in for a long stinky off season.
Shaq Goes After Portnoy for Trashing Angela Reese
Dave Portnoy called LSU’s Angela Reese a “classless piece of shit” on Twitter and O’Neal defended her by using a classic response to the Barstool founder: “So is your mother. ”
“So’s your mother” still works as a great comeback.
Vince McMahons New Look Annoys Everyone
His new smarmy mustache and slicked back shoe poilish black hair has everyone talking and making memes. He got compared to J. Jonah Jameison, an evil manager of a haunted hotel, Vegeta from Dragon Ball GT, and the villain who ties women to traintracks.
Yup thats why he did it.
A-Rod Waiting for Trumpman?
Spotted among those waiting outside Trump Tower for the former President’s arrival was Alex Rodriguez.
The Pride of the Yankees.
Seven Foot Four Player Backs Himself Up
Victor Wembanyama took a shot at a three from outside, the ball caught rim, and somehow teleported up to the basket to grab the ball before it came down and scored, giving himself the points and the assist.
This guy is going to be the new Kareem Chamberlain.
Read more at NY Post
https://nypost.com/2023/04/02/victor-wembanyama-puts-back-own-missed-3-with-one-handed-dunk/
Putback dunk off his own stepback 3 🤯 https://t.co/ARkuLYGsAI pic.twitter.com/fXgjzrIAmO
— NBA (@NBA) April 2, 2023
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Guess Curb Is Not Ending Yet
After a writer for Curb accidentally leaked the info that the upcoming season of Curb will be its last, the EP of the show is speaking out. Reports of the series demise are greatly exaggerated according to Executive Producer Jeff Schaeffer.
Well it was your writer dude.
Is it Matt? Ben? or Maybe Mattfleck?
In a brand new Dunkies ad, Ben Affleck gets mistaken for Matt Damon. In the ad, the Dunkin employee doesn’t recognize Ben but thinks he may have seen him in The Departed.
These guys are really going back to the well a bit aren’t they?
Brooke Shields Lost Her Cherry to Dean Cain, And Then....
In her new documentary, Shields said she lost her virginity to Superman himself- or at least one of the many supermen. She said afterwards she ran naked out of the room, screaming.
And the rest of us run away from his movies and tv shows.
Guardians of the Galaxy Releases Mixtape Vol 3
James Gunn released the soundtrack for his third movie, ahead of the movie, and it looks like he’s moved the film’s music a forward adding 90s classics to the mix
This gives young people a chance to feel nostalgic now.
How Did We Miss Leo DiCaprio Testifying Against Fugees Rapper
Academy Award winner Leonardo DiCaprio took the stand Monday testifying against Pras Michel who is accused of participating in a global campaign-finance conspiracy funded by Jho Low, a Malaysian businessman
The fact that we all missed this shows that Gwyneth is the biggest movie star in Hollywood.
Drake Toys with Kanye
In a new song, “Rescue Me”, Drake sampled audio of Kim Kardashian talking about her divorce from Ye which should reignite Drake’s long standing feud with West.
Don’t wake up the crazed nazi.
Why ScarJo Has No Interest in Social Media
Scarlett Johansson says her ego is too fragile for her to be on social media platforms.
“My brain is too fragile. I’m like a delicate flower.”
Oh come on at least get an Only Fans
VIRAL & TRENDING
Guy Who Helps Tutor College Bound Rich Kids Makes $1500 an Hour
If your parents can afford Christopher Rim, he and his company can help you get into a much better college than you could have gotten into on your own. It will only set your family back about $85k.
So why aren’t these parents going to jail?
The Post Profiled The Nations Most Inbred Family
The Whittakers may sound like a fun family that wears matching pj’s and sings on TikTok, but they’re actually being called America’s most inbred family, and lets just say they have a very Deliverance vibe about them.
Then, first thing you know ole Jed was shooting at some food.
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
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