Philadelphia Weekly created a competition: Guess the murders, win some “sweet swag.” All you have to do is guess the number of homicides that will have taken place between the beginning of 2021 and election day in November.

The Philadelphia Inquirer was disgusted, and columnist Helen Ubiñas called the contest a pathetic cry for attention, and said there’s a special place in hell for such cheap provocation.

Hey if its a murder game in Philly, bet the over.

Read more at mediaite.

A Minnesota woman was found buck naked in a parked car, at a car dealership/service center. She was masturbating, and wouldn’t stop. Police said she was laying on the floor in the back seat of an SUV digitally penetrating her vagina.

These Memorial Day sales stunts have gone too far.

Read more at knewz.

Bezos is Toying with the Idea of Opening Brick and Mortar Pharmacies in Competition with Rite Aid, Walgreens, and CVS

Bezos, don’t forget the fable about the Goose with the Golden Eggs.

Okay to be honest, we don’t remember it either but it’s probably something about a crazy billionaire who doesn’t need to own every damn thing in the world.

Read more at Daily Mail.

The state of Victoria in Australia is going on Covid lockdown after a highly infectious strain has started to show up

I guess kangaroo is not a Covid vaccine.

Read more at Reuters.

I think when you have a 43 year old body in the NFL maybe you shouldn’t make people mad.

Two old guys against the young bucks @PhilMickelson. @b_dechambeau better get used to laying up because we know @AaronRodgers12 isn’t going for it 🤣 https://t.co/f1DQsFn41U

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) May 26, 2021

WTF is wrong with people?

Nobody should be beat up by somebody from LA.

Welcome back fans pic.twitter.com/sWzFWXJHQq

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) May 27, 2021

And he looks happier than he ever has in his life.

Mann Bunn. Check. TaySwift. Check. No wonder he’s not happy living in Wisconsin.

Read more at people.com.

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I mean, it is Philadelphia. In the grand scheme of things, it could have been a lot worse than popcorn.

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CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Harry and Oprah will spill more tea on another Apple TV special. What is this a series?

We get it. Growing up in a castle is so hard. Wah wah wah.

Read more at The Sun.

Alan Dershowitz is seeking 80 million from Netflix over the Jefrey Epstein doc, Filthy Rich.

Careful Alan, Netflix has a lot of money and plenty of time to make movies about all your classy clients- Trump, OJ and Jeremy Irons.

Read more at deadline.com.

Eric Carle, Author of Beloved Children’s Book “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” dies at age 91

Surprisingly the cause of death was not overeating.

Read more at Daily Mail.

Pete.. look away. It’s not good for you. Thank you, Next was rough enough.

Read more at vogue.

It’s the new American status symbol, a backyard that looks like you moved your livingroom onto your patio or deck. Comfy couches, conversation pits, all kinds of firey devices are the must have accessories for your outdoors.

Isn’t this just going to attract homeless to your backyard.

More at washingtonpost.

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10 boxes of DiGiorno created pizza donuts will be given to fans, but you’ll have to win to get one. A diGiornut is “a delicious donut, stuffed with mozzarella cheese, topped with signature DiGiorno sauce, even more cheese and decked out with your favorite pizza toppings.”

I’d rather eat the box. #DiGiornothankyou

Read more at foodandwine.

Pretty Model Gets Lots of Free Stuff

People are pissed at what they are calling “tone deaf” pretty privilege, but its just a woman saying she got a lot of stuff for free.

I know a few ways she can get even more things for free.

Read more at yahoo.

@lizseibert

And I definitely… DON’T… hop the subway 🤭 #nyc#freestuff#model#fashionmodel

♬ Relaxed everyday loop BGM – Milk

Jake,the QAnon Shaman believes a video showing he stopped someone from stealing a muffin from a Capitol break room on January 6 will assist in his defense.

Cue the “Hero” music. Deerhead did something good.

A woman recorded a bizarre conversation with the owner of a boutique hotel in Michigan. After she discovered a flooding leak in her bathroom, she called the front desk. He called her a dumb liberal and kicked her and her kids out of the hotel.

This is the weirdest movie Stanley Tucci has ever been in.

Read more at boingboing

Hotel owner in Michigan calls a mother a "dumb Democrat" and kicks her out because the bathroom was flooding pic.twitter.com/W5xkOO0R0Z

— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) May 26, 2021

Where else can you experience appearing on late night, walking the red carpet, and memorizing lines.

“Shailene Woodley 2K21.”

Remember, if you lose, you end up with Aaron Rodgers.

Read more at avclub.

https://twitter.com/martinmherlihy/status/1397587586860961795/video/1

I dunno seemed like she handled this like a professional.

NOT BOO HOO 😩💀 pic.twitter.com/ohMcptj8sg

— chris evans (@chris_notcapn) May 26, 2021