Now that Mexico has legalized weed, we’re the only country left in North America that hasn’t gone full mary jane.

Hey Biden, lets start low riding .

Take a little trip, take a little trip, Take a little trip and see

Read more at NY Times.

Texas AG has threaten Austin officials: if they don’t lift mask mandate, he’ll sue. Austin’s Mayor Adler says he’ll hold out as long as he can.

I think we’ve gone from Keep Austin Weird to, the rest of Texas is weird.

Read more at CBS News.

.@MayorAdler & @AndyBrownATX, you and local health authorities have until 6:00pm today to rescind any mask mandates or business-operating restrictions and come into full compliance with GA-34 ➡️ https://t.co/Bz5DQsw8IV

Otherwise, on behalf of the State of Texas, I will sue you. pic.twitter.com/IP9UpZPplh

— Texas Attorney General (@TXAG) March 10, 2021

Former Fox News personality Stacy Dash is saying goodbye to politics, and goodbye to hate. She’s apologized for any hurt she had caused, blaming her ‘arrogant pride and anger’.

Don’t go away mad, just go away.

Read more at Daily Mail.

A former cashier at Panda Express says she took a seminar in 2019 because it was the only way she could vie for a promotion. But the training was weird involving stripping, underwear hugging, isolation and verbal abuse.

With Sex You Get Eggroll? More like with eggroll you get sex.

Read more at Eater.

Billie goes full woke in this new ad that recognizes that all women are perfect.

This is the sexual version of everybody gets a trophy.

Read more at designtaxi.

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A post shared by Billie (@billie)

Dove soaps and hair care products will no longer offer an option for “normal” hair or skin, because they believe the word makes people feel lesser than others. The crew at Fox News is outraged by this gesture. Tom Lahren in particular feels its ridiculous. “The Greatest Generation fought the Nazis, stormed beaches,” she exclaimed. “Here we are today being triggered by soap and labels and cartoons. It’s utterly ridiculous! I wish people would toughen up. If you’re offended by soap, you need to examine your level of oppression and get your head out of the clouds.”

Relax guys, it’s not normal, its the new normal.

Read more at The Daily Beast.

Get ready for your $1,400, America. Now you can pay half of a bill that’s really been really stressing you out… for this month.

Read more at cbsnews.

As part of the “It’s Up to You Campaign” Presidents Bush, Obama, Clinton and even Carter and all the First Ladies are urging citizens to get vaccinated.

The only other living president didn’t show up for the video. He thought vaccines were supposed to be a secret. Shhhhhhhh.

Read more at forbes.

Gronk says don’t count him out yet, he’s not retiring.

If you’re not retired then why are you in Florida?

Read more at Sportscasting.

A huge screen monitor Kerrrrusssshes an ESPN Columbia Journalist.It’s an absolute smash, but don’t worry! He’s okay!

Why is their ESPN so much more fun to watch than ours?

El señor golpe que se acaba de llevar el Olímpico Orduz @orduzrubio en Espn Radio fue tremendo, ojalá no pase a mayores #ESPNRadioColombia pic.twitter.com/fsYtave0cy

— Manuel Rojas (@RojasManuel) March 10, 2021

Orioles shared this amazing video of a prospect showing a knuckleball.

Oh this might get another five people to watch baseball.

Read more at Yahoo.

"Spin rate? Where we're going, we don't need a spin rate." 👊 pic.twitter.com/4rX4Qd2eku

— Baltimore Orioles 😷 (@Orioles) March 9, 2021

everything

RIP to Lou Ottens, the man who invented the audio cassette tape.

Maybe he’s not really dead. Have you tried using a pencil eraser?

Read more at NPR.

College students adore Cindy the Slut Shamer who has preaching virtue for decades and now travels to college campuses to shame sluts.

Anyone else turned on?

Read more at barstool sports.

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A post shared by Billie (@billie)

pic.twitter.com/l380TRWINm

— ashley ray (@theeashleyray) March 3, 2021

And here she is with Brother Jeb back in the day on Sally

Jennifer Garner Shares How Paparazzi Torment Had Been So Difficult for her and Ben Affleck’s Kids, Including Once Getting Her Daughter Kicked Off of her Kindergarten Soccer Team

Garner is speaking up saying that the torment from press has been destructive for her and Ben Affleck’s kids. She shares a story about her daughter getting kicked off a kindergarten soccer team because of paparazzi.

Ugh oh don’t tell Piers Morgan. He’ll have a speech ready about how they knew what they were getting into being the public eye and we deserve photos of their children at all times!

Read more at jezebel.

“It’s not like anything you’ve ever seen,” he told Insider on Wednesday. He described it as a cross between Twitter and Youtube meant for Print, RAdio and Tv, and nobody will have to walk on egg shells.

Oh great, now is it made with feathers or foam?

Read more at Business Insider.

On a new podcast episode of Divorced Not Dead, Sarandon was asked what kind of man she’s looking for and said that what she wants most of all is someone who’s been vaccinated. “I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman. I mean, I’m open to all age, all color. And those for me, those things are just details. But what I’m interested in is someone who wants to be adventuresome.”

What happened to you and Kevin Costner?

Read more at People.

Women don’t have enough room to keep TicTacs while men empty their pockets like Mary Poppins.

It’s Women’s History Month! Let’s do something about this!!

"I'm going to show you an example of why I really hate that clothing is gendered" pic.twitter.com/ld6Si7654g

— tosca tweets world (@catatonichic) March 9, 2021

The Uber rider who went viral for treating her Uber driver abominably didn’t apologize, but instead put out a video saying she’s going to sue Uber, and says she was restrained. Everyone she knows would have smacked the shit out of the driver.

Sadly, we’ll all be saying period point blank by next week.

Did anyone else know cashmeousside had an older sister?

Read more at TMZ

Enjoy the nightmares.
Signed, Creepiest Bird You’ve Ever Seen

Via digg.

everything