As New York reopens, the New York Department of Health wants you to get creative to keep safe from corona when having sex with partners. Naturally, that means glory holes.

Just so you know that means your new office policy is no handshakes or high fives, but blow jobs through a hole in the restroom stall, totally cool…

Read more at gizmodo.

Hey, if just make a quick, stupid protest sign that you made with lipstick and a paper bag, you are making a huge mistake. You and your sign may be history.

Hope they preserve my favorite: NYPD Can Eat My Meat.

Read more at artnet.com.

Sorry Mickey, looks like you’re an essential worker now. People need to ride Splash Mountain. They’re favorite part is that 2nd wave!

Read more at cnn.com.

Somewhere in California, a white woman is mad because an Asian woman is preventing her from using unnecessary stairs.

If we can get all these Karens together in one place, we’d stop 95% of harassment in the United States.

My coworker/friend encountered an evil racist at the park during her workout in Torrance today ? pic.twitter.com/z0fXtUNpmI

— Sweet T (@mynamegangg) June 10, 2020

General Mark Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, issued this apology for being part of Trump’s photo op outside the church across the street from the White House:

“I should not have been there,” Gen. Mark A. Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said in a prerecorded video commencement address to National Defense University, reports Helene Cooper. “My presence in that moment and in that environment created a perception of the military involved in domestic politics.”

Ivanka was smart enough to dodge that photo altogether.

Read more at nytimes.com.

Ohio State Senator Steve Huffman asked during a Senate Health Committee meeting  if the “colored population” is washing its hands enough compared to other groups while discussing why they are more heavily affected by Covid. This is a guy who’s been paying attention to what’s going on the in the country for sure.

Read more at daytondailynews.com.

I know these last two weeks have been transformative, but even for you, Karen??

BREAKING NEWS: Voters outraged because they can’t vote. @cbs46
Voting machines are down & systems aren’t working all over #Atlanta
Some people have left the polls because the line has NOT moved since 6 A.M. pic.twitter.com/QfJ8fxz5TQ

— Barmel Lyons CBS46 (@BarmelLyonsTV) June 9, 2020

Sometimes it feels like progress is not going fast enough, but hearing that NASCAR is banning Confederate Flags is like hearing Pizza Hut banned cheese and not real cheese…Pizza Hut cheese.

Unimaginable just a month ago

This is the biggest news of 1866.

Read more at cnbc.com.

Look you can click on the link, but you will never, ever unsee it. It’s horror. You will rather have your kid get addicted to Kiwi porn instead of ride one skateboard.

Read more at tmz.com.

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Anna Kendrick has a miserable time, Robert Pattinson hates it… was the crew actual vampires!?

Read more at ew.com

Kate Moss – whose incessant drugs and alcohol partying gave her the nickname ‘The Tank’, now says she’s in bed by 11pm every night. The sober supermodel claims that if she doesn’t get 8 hours of sleep, she’ll be moody the next day. Moss now has daily morning yoga sessions and she watches Netflix to get her to sleep. If she really wants to get to sleep quicker, show her Johnny Depp’s last three movies.

Read more at thesun.co.uk.

Walt Disney Studios and Lionel Richie are developing a movie musical based on some of Richie’s greatest hits. Tentatively titled “All Night Long,” the project is said to be more in the vein of the ABBA-themed “Mamma Mia!,” rather than a biopic. A shot-for-shot recreation of the ‘Hello’ video is reportedly closes out the film.

Read more at rollingstone.com.

The British independent label One Little Indian Records, whose roster once featured Bjork and Sigur Rós, has changed its name to One Little Independent Records. Founder Derek Birkett announced the name and logo change on Facebook after having a correspondence with a music fan who felt the name was offensive to Native Americans. Suge Knight is hoping that changing his label’s name to Stayed Off Death Row Records will give him the fresh start that he’s looking for.

Read more at nme.com.

In the wake of “Cops” getting the ax, A & E has now canceled “Live PD.” You’ll have to get your cop porn from Twitter now like everyone else.

Read more at yahoo.

Aaron Paul pulled out the big guns for this one. Hope it goes over better than the “Imagine” video.

regret to inform you the celebs are at it again pic.twitter.com/pfORBiqvrX

— Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) June 11, 2020

Twitter asked to rank a Kit Kat, a Snickers, a Reese’s and a Twix and Kit Kat somehow came out on top. It must be because of the Zoomers’ peanut allergy.

Rank these real quick pic.twitter.com/N0FzuVXl5g

— HOOD VOGUE is tired of poverty (@itskeyon) June 11, 2020

Next time pick a fight with a child, you may get a W.

WHITE SUPREMACIST WEARING "FLIP FLOPS" ?
HARASSES AN ASIAN MAN
AND GETS

KNOCKED THE F#%CK OUT!

????????

pic.twitter.com/nFMq66JlAg

— Honey Chile ? (@HoneyChile15) June 10, 2020

This is what happens when you macro dose every day.