Thursday April 16: Daily Links

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THURSDAY 4.16

NEWS STORIES

 

Michigan Protesters Take On Stay-at-Home Order

The Beastie Boys called this a long time ago.
You gotta fight for your right get sick.

Read more at politico.com.

David Hockney Thinks Smokers Immune to Coronavirus

88 year old artist David Hockney has said that he believes smokers are immune to the Covid19 based on numbers he’s seeing.

Well, he should know. He’s a painter. Much higher than doctor.

Read more at nypost.com.

Rush Limbaugh Offers Trump His Radio Show

Trump wanted to do an afternoon radio show but didn’t want to hurt his pal Rush’s ratings.
Take my show said Rush.

Remember Don, it’s traffic on the ones.

Read more wnd.com.

Land O Lakes To Ditch Native American Mascot After 92 Years

The Land O Lakes company will replace the Native American who’s been on their packaging for 92 years with pictures of their farmers. So now we have to buy butter with a giant robot tractor on it.

Read more at huffpost.com.

Your Bank Might Just Take Your ‘Rona Check

The $1,200 stimulus checks are beginning to go out to people via direct deposit but your bank has the right to take that cash to pay off outstanding debts you may already have.

Read more at prospect.org.

Beach Box Will Let You Enjoy The Ocean In Coronavirus World

Italy is considering making plexiglass boxes on their beaches to keep people socially distanced. This could be a good idea except when all these boxes are filled to the brim with cigarette butts and Peroni bottles.

Read more at thsun.co.uk.

77% Of Americans Sleep Has Been Affected By The Current State Of The World

77% of American are reporting a change in their sleep pattern since the outbreak of the Coronavirus and subsequent lockdowns around the country. Invest in Ambien now.

Read more at studyfinds.org.

Netflix Stock Now Worth More Than Disney

Netflix stock hit an all-time high as usage for the streaming service went up over 109% during the month of March. The surge also made Netflix stock worth more than who had a 2.5% drop. It’s official: The Tiger King beat the crap out of The Lion King.

Read more at variety.com.

SPORTS

Mark Cuban Not Into Masks In NBA

Mark Cuban doesn’t like the idea of players wearing masks in the NBA because it makes the game look unsafe.

“And for that reason, I am out.”

Read more at tmz.com.

ENTERTAINMENT

Quibi’s Content is GOLD

This is what you’re paying $5 bucks a month for Quib-Heads. This is the golden age of short form content. Stay gold, Quibi.

Paris Jackson To Play Jesus Christ In Weird Indie Movie

Paris Jackson will portray Jesus in the upcoming film ‘Habit’. Former Disney star turned porn director Bella Thorne will play a party girl with a Jesus fetish who masquerades as a nun to escape a violent drug deal. Producer Donovan Levitch, son of singer-songwriter Donovan, is producing the flick, which he says is inspired by ‘early Tarantino’. No word on whether or not the movie will include an extended close ups of Jackson washing Thorne’s feet.

Read more at nypost.com.

Suzanne Somers Offers Sex Tips for Self-Isolation

The 73rd year old ‘Three’s Company’ star says she’s still maintaining a healthy sex life in self-isolation. Somers says that she injects her husband with testosterone, they have sex up to two times a day. Online sales for the Thigh Master just shot up 1000%.

Read more at pagesix.com.

Tom Hardy To Read Bedtime Stories

The star of Mad Max: Fury Road star will be reading children’s stories for the British network CBeebies from April 27th through May 1st. When Hardy read stories back in 2016, the network had over 1 million views. Reps denied reports that he’ll take requests to read it in his Bane voice.

Read more at nypost.com.

GOING VIRAL

Celebs Join Viral Search For Best New York Accent

Alec Baldwin, Chazz Palminteri, Drea de Matteo, Debi Mazur, and Chris Distefano are among those who responded to filmmaker’s Nicholas Heller’s IG search for the Best New York accent. Baldwin is leading in the category of Best Use Of A New York Accent When Fighting Over A Parking Spot.

Read more at nypost.com.

Sebastian Maniscalco’s Cousin Thanks Supporters After He Killed A Home Intruder

A cousin of Sebastian Maniscalco went viral last week after video of him killing an armed home invader in self defense was released. He’s currently being pitched to star in a Chicago reboot version of Death Wish called Death Deep Dish.

Read more at nypost.com.

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Interrobang Staff
Interrobang Staff