Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
GET YOUR FLU SHOTS, PAY YOUR RENT, DO YOUR LAUNDRY… these are life affirmations I’m telling you all but also mainly serving them as a reminder for myself because I’m 0/3 on all of those fronts this month. Well, another week to ‘try our best’ I guess? I don’t know if I’ll be fully trying, but what I do know I’ll be doing is seeing Renee Zellweger in ‘JUDY’ and my body is so ready. I will be giving all of my thoughts and feelings about it probably on Instagram Stories after a Skittles-induced sugar high — so be sure to follow me over on @kashmeredanny to check that out!
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
Since it’s fall and also ‘Sober October,’ whatever that means, I highly recommend just having some hot apple cider and like, balancing your checkbook? IDK, we have a little over two months before the end of this year — so either go out on a high or just keep spiraling out of control and burning bridges, whatever strikes your fancy! Just make sure you don’t burn your tongue on the cider.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Liam Hemsworth Has A New Gal In Town | While Miley has been sliding away these past few weeks post-divorce, Liam has been relatively off the map. That is, until now — because he’s apparently seeing a new girl and they are hot and heavy. Her name is Maddison Brown and while spelling that name with two d’s is annoying, she seems cute and nice and I’m into it. Check out the cute pics here.
Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera Haven’t Been On Speaking Terms Since the Firing | This isn’t that surprising, especially after finding out that Meredith encouraged his accuser to come forward, but you can’t talk about the news at all right now without mentioning Lauer. Glad he’s off TikTok, no seriously — he was posting TikToks the day before all of this new information came out. Good look.
Is Taylor Swift Cursing The LA Kings? |The players are trying to ‘shake it off,’ and that means covering up a Taylor Swift banner. Swift got her banner for the most sold out shows at the Staples Center, and apparently when they covered it up, it was the best game they played in a minute. I always knew every tall, blonde person was a witch. Read more here.
Joe Giudice Looks Completely Different Post Prison| It seems like the Giudice’s are good at a few things: forging financial documents, making red sauce, and working out while incarcerated. The first picture of Joe Giudice since being sentenced came to light this weekend and Juicy Joe looks a little less juicy, which I guess is good for him because he is highly likely to be spending the rest of his life in Italy where he’ll just be eating bread and drinking wine all day. Wait, should I get deported to Italy, too? Check out his new look here.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
The biggest takeaway is that it’s great to be rich, hot and blonde.
Blast From the PAST:
Because it is October, I feel like it is my duty to take this #TBT news section and remind everyone of one of the many times a celebrity has worn a costume that is…. nothing but wrong. While there are so, so many people to pick from, let’s start off with Julianne Hough who thought going as a black woman from Orange Is the New Black would any in anything but scandal. Cringe for yourself here.
Stream or Scream?:
Since I’m basically a modern day Carrie Bradshaw, I was able to get my hands on an advanced copy of Elton John’s new memoir, Me, that’s out tomorrow. When I tell you I read it in twelve hours, I’m not lying. Partly because I had to for work and also because it was amazing. Every story was juicy, whether it was about sex, drugs, or literally Rock & Roll. Go get it so I have someone to talk about it with!