SUNDAY 5.17

NEWS STORIES

Sun is on “Lockdown” is the new Doomsday Craze

Global pandemic, pentagon confirms UFOs, murder hornets, and now apparently the sun has entered a period of “solar minimum,”

Are we sure these aren’t just Onion articles??

Could Iceland Be the Perfect Pandemic Getaway

Iceland is being praised for its handling and control of the covid19 epidemic and has been hailed as a potential getaway location.

Well now the secret is out… we’re guessing no.

Woman Has Complete Mental Breakdown on Verizon Store Employee

Karen is pretty sick of the Verizon Mafia but she also does a pretty great Sam Kinison impression.

Via Twitter.

Karen didn’t take her meds today pic.twitter.com/7ltMfEEl18

— Crashtian (@510_Crashtian) May 15, 2020

Man Three Months At Sea Comes Back To Coronavirus Ridden Mainland

This guy might as well just get back on the high seas and wait this one out.

Via digg.

Infographic Shows Number of Growing Coronavirus Cases by Country

Soooo… we’re #winning!

Via reddit.com.

[OC] Covid-19 Confirmed cases bar chart race from r/dataisbeautiful

SPORTS

ENTERTAINMENT

Dakota Johnson Said Her Depression is Beautiful and Blow Back Ensued

Oh Dakota Johnson. Please pick your adjectives carefully. You can’t say your depression is beautiful. In 2020 that word is only to call your body when you are overweight.

Ashton Kutcher Involved With ‘Fyre Fest of Coronavirus Testing’

The Coronavirus Testing is taking taking heat all over the country for being faulty but Nebraska has an Ashton Kutcher tie in so that means press.

Weird we all knew that the dumb guy from that 70’s show would be the answer.

Gwyneth Paltrow Posts Pics of Daughter Apple 16th Birthday and Internet Implodes

Who would have thunk it? The daughter of a movie star and pop star would be such a beauty?

We remember when she was an apple in her momma’s eye.

Via yahoo.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow)

GOING VIRAL

Robot Dog Pushes Social Distancing in Singapore

Please stay six feet apart or these robot dog will chew your ass off with his metal teeth.

Dear Future, You are a horror show.

Via YouTube.

What’s Your #LastNormalPhoto?

Twitter is asking what your last normal, pre lockdown picture was. Just swipe past the bad nudes first.