The Russian Oligarch owner of Chelsea FC is stepping away from his beloved soccer team as the war in Ukraine rages on. This happened after the UK Parliament called for him to hand over the club. Why couldn’t Dan Snyder be Russian?

Read more at NBC Sports.

Jon Stewart praised the President of Ukraine, who is also a former comedians, saying ““We’re watching Shecky Greene transform into Churchill.”

Assuming Zelenskyy lives through this conflict, Netflix will be giving him a three special deal.

Read more at Huffington Post.

Sperm banks around the country have a huge drought of POC donors, and the pandemic has made the shortage even worse.

Semen preppers could become a whole new category of crazy.

Read more at the WSJ.

The Russian Bot army is trying to win the propaganda war by flooding Tik Tok with pro-Russian video content and memes. If they can get the Zoomers on their side, that’s half the battle.

Read more at the AP.

With all the sanctions coming down on Russia, there’s been an unexpected causality – the bank accounts of Russian OnlyFans models. Can we please all take a step back and realize that this war doesn’t need to be happening. People need hot Russian women.

Read more at Yahoo.

Musk has activated his satellite based internet service so that Ukranian citizens can access the web after the russian invasion knocked out internet service. He also offered to rescue the ISS if Russia tries to drop it from orbit.

Is Elon Musk Iron Man now?

Read more at mediaite.

@elonmusk, while you try to colonize Mars — Russia try to occupy Ukraine! While your rockets successfully land from space — Russian rockets attack Ukrainian civil people! We ask you to provide Ukraine with Starlink stations and to address sane Russians to stand.

— Mykhailo Fedorov (@FedorovMykhailo) February 26, 2022

After Russia invaded Ukraine, drinkers took to social media to show their support of Ukranians by pouring out their Russian vodka and swearing off the Russian based brands.

And I’m only putting freedom dressing on my salad.

Read more at TMZ

A number of visitors to NYC’s free isolation hotels for residents who tested positive and didn’t want to risk transmitting to members of their household got a luxury parting gift. “You take the lift to the lobby, and just as you’re being discharged, there’s a pile of Coach bags behind a retractable rope and you walk up and pick whatever you want and somebody behind the rope hands it to you,” one resident told the Post.

Coach bag. Thought you said roach bag.

Read more at NY Post.

Vitali Klitschko, the mayor of Ukraine’s capital city of Kyiv is joining his brother Wladmimir in taking up arms to defend his country against Russia. The former heavyweight boxing champions

Guys you know this fight doesn’t take place in Iran?

Read more at ESPN

Meet the Ukrainian former Heavyweight Champion of the World Vitali Klitschko.

His net worth is in the millions, w capabilities of living comfortably anywhere in the world.

He has taken up arms and is defending his country.

Hero.#boxing #ukraine #combatsports #donttreadonme pic.twitter.com/nrXH9V7FAv

— DoxxerBoxer (@DoxxerBoxer) February 27, 2022

Amazon offered Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay a ton of money to host Thursday Night Football’s broadcast that airs on the Prime platform. Its believed they may have offered as much as $100 million for a 5 year deal. He said no thanks, he’s staying with his team.

Good luck getting packages delivered Sean.

Read more at NY Post

It’s been leaked that a match between Pat McAfee and Vince McMahon has been added to the line up at Wrestlemania. The only question here is can Pat pull off a Super Kick as well as HBK?
Read more at Barstool.

Adnrey Rublev wrote “No War Please” on the camera lense as a protest statement against the Russian invasion.

This is the only interesting thing to happen in tennis in the last 20 years.

Russian tennis player Andrey Rublev writes "No war please" on the camera following his advancement to the final in Dubai. pic.twitter.com/GQe8d01rTd

— TSN (@TSN_Sports) February 25, 2022

If you don’t pay attention to the intros on Sunday Night Football, you may have missed these adorable little easter eggs of players giving fun shout outs to someone or someplace other than the college they graduated.

This is like Big Brother on live eviction night. Shout out to Mom!

I compiled my favorite SNF player intros from last NFL season pic.twitter.com/KJ5YM8lkJO

— alex 💙💛 (@highlghtheaven) February 25, 2022

Kelly Stafford is defending her husband who just won the Super Bowl. Mrs. S wrote on Instagram, “Can y’all just let him enjoy this?! It went from Matthew can’t win, to Matthew can’t win against winning teams, to Matthew can’t win big games, to Matthew can’t win playoff games, to Matthew can’t win it all.”

I know it seems like you’re helping…

Read more at US Magazine

Jack White just needs one second to identify ANY Beatles song. But can he identify the A-Team theme song? Doubtful.

Watch the video on Instagram.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jack White (@officialjackwhite)

The anesthesiology group that presided during Paxton’s valve replacement surgery has settled with his family for $1 million dollars, without acknowledging any wrongdoing. Paxton suffered a stroke and died following the heart procedure, and the family sued for negligence alleging a cover up as well.

His death is worth 1/100th the value of Sean McVay working one day a week watching football.

Read more at Complex

Bert is america’s answer to Putin

Read more at Barstool

Okay, @bertkreischer is now taking BP with his shirt off. What a day in Bananaland. pic.twitter.com/oQQTlU77Ne

— Savannah Bananas (@TheSavBananas) February 26, 2022

Peters married in California with a star studded guest list including Cedric who performed the ceremony.

Wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Cedric announced them playa and wife.

Read more at TMZ

The owner of the Chrysler building, Michael Fuchs is caught up in a high profile divorce and he’s going to be paying his ex wife $400,000 every month.

She still couldn’t afford to rent anything inside the Chrysler building.

Read more at NY Post.

Piers has a new show and he’s vowed to take on those “ultra woke lunatics head on.” HIs new talk show will air on Sky News Australia, TalkTv in the UK and Fox Nation in the US.

Dude do you even know there’s a war going on?

Read more at Deadline..

The actor, filmmaker and activist is over in Ukraine making a documentary on the Russian invasion, and says Putin made a brutal mistake attacking the neighboring nation. “Already a brutal mistake of lives taken and hearts broken, and if he doesn’t relent, I believe Mr. Putin will have made a most horrible mistake for all of humankind,” Penn said.

If anyone would know. It’s Spicoli.

Read more at Fox News

Already a brutal mistake of lives taken and hearts broken, and if he doesn’t relent, I believe Mr. Putin will have made a most horrible mistake for all of humankind. President Zelensky and the Ukrainian people have risen as historic symbols of courage and principle. (1/2)

— Sean Penn (@SeanPenn) February 26, 2022

Ukraine is the tip of the spear for the democratic embrace of dreams. If we allow it to fight alone, our soul as America is lost. (2/2)

— Sean Penn (@SeanPenn) February 26, 2022

The infamous Russian punk rock performance art group is selling NFTs to raise money to support Ukraine.

NFTs? Or NFT&A?

Read more at rollingstone.

The BBC lookied into why people began exploring new sexual identies during the pandemic.

What else did we have to do?

Read more at BBC

If you cut meat out of your diet or at least cut back to just a few portions a week, you could lower your risk of cancer, says researchers from the University of Oxford.

Can we slide this into the no shit pile?

Read more at Insider.