Social Distancing Dispatches with Kashmere: Casey Balsham! (Quick Chats With Comedians Waiting Out the Pandemic)

Casey Balsham

Socially distancing from reality seems like a dream, right? How many Friday afternoons did you cry at the fact that you have plans, when all you wanted to do was watch Netflix on your couch with a bottle of wine and no obligations? Well… I guess we all need to be careful what we wished for because that’s our current reality with COVID-19 until 2048 with. Kidding… I hope. I figured because since there are no stand-up shows, podcast tours, or sets to go to with everything shut down — comedians are most likely going stir crazy. And since I’m a nosy bitch, I had to find out just how they were passing the time. As always, I’m Kashmere and these are the Social Distancing Dispatches.

First up, we have the hilarious Casey Balsham (who also happens to be my co-host on Not Another True Crime Podcast) who is dishing about how she’s surviving with her fiance, a roommate, and a whole lotta wine. Be sure to follow her on Instagram and Twitter, and buy her insanely funny comedy album ‘Son of A Barb’ (I had the pleasure of going to the taping! I was deathly hungover and I think it cured me. Literally.)

I mean how prepared were you for this? Did you have toilet paper at the ready or were you panic running around to bodegas trying to find like, ramen noodles?

I don’t know if I’m prepared even now! I keep going back to the bodega picking up things that I have never used before thinking now is the time to learn how to use eggplant. Im freaking out. I definitely bought into the toilet paper thing because I live with two roommates and we all poop. I think I am going to take a suggestion from my dad though – he says don’t buy toilet paper, buy Metamucil. Get that fiber going so your poops are solid and require little to no wiping. Gross? Maybe. Hella smart? Absolutely. Oh also I’ going back to my Bay Area roots and saying hella again. So that to me, is one positive thing coming out of this.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you feel like this is your thrive time or are you making up conversations with inanimate objects.

I’m an extrovert but I love being home and not doing anything. I am down for the lockdown. I have so many books I’m going to pretend to read.

Is your lockdown a table for one or are you doing it with roommates / a significant other? What’s the best/worst part of whichever of either doing it alone or with someone.

I am doing it with both a roommate and a sig oth (significant other). Positives, we all went out and bought wine so we are covered every which way from cans, to boxes, to bottles. Worst part is the above mentioned pooping. But we have lived together for 6 years so what’s an extra 2 weeks of complete uninterrupted bonding time?

Have you come up with a random quarantine meal/snack that you would never eat during your normal day-to-day?

We are cooking more which we never really have time to do so that’s different. But ask me in two weeks because by then I’m sure we will have started eating things in the house just out of boredom. A few pair of shoes I own are starting to look real tasty.

The most random show that you’ve found solace in during this… no need to be embarrassed, I’m rewatching Real Housewives of New Jersey to feel right now.

I started Fosse/Verdon. Didn’t know heavy choreo was gonna get me through this, but here we are.

Be honest: when do you start drinking, and how many bottles of wine have you had?

I try and wait till the sun goes down but I have a feeling I may start going to “brunch” soon.

What do you want to accomplish during this time that you have been putting off because you “don’t have the time”?

I should learn how to edit videos. I should use this time to actually sit with a computer and start chopping up some clips. THE PEOPLE NEED THE CONTENT! I also have a musical I started like 3 years ago that could be finished. We shall see! Realistically I will probably just start Drag Race finally and wake up in two weeks with nothing done, but the intentions are there.

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