America’s Mayor says he has never done an interview drunk. He admits that he drinks scotch “normally” whatever that means, but says he functions more effectively than 90% of the population . When asked how he felt about America thinking he’s gone off the rails, he said “what’s happened is, our country has gone off the rails…I’m exactly the same person. They changed!”

I’m not crazy, everybody else is crazy.

Read more at NBC New York.

If Florida counties or municipalities want to enact mask mandates, the Florida Governor cannot stop them or punish them financially.

The governor is nervous that the state might have an outbreak of masks.

Read more at Business Insider.

The Pandemic is accelerating our entry into the Metaverse, a virtual environment where you can work, create and play with others.

And finally, a universe where you can weigh as much as you want to and nobody can see you masturbate.

Read more at WSJ

Robert Kennedy’s sons have given their support to paroling Sirhan Sirhan, the man convicted of assassinating Senator Kennedy in 1968. This was his 16th Parole hearing. The Governor will review the case before the decision is final.

It might have taken 53 years but he finally convinced them it was an accident.

Read more at CNN

Please read and share statement from my family regarding today’s recommendation of parole for Sirhan Sirhan. pic.twitter.com/60klc1fHxU

— Rory Kennedy (@roryekennedy) August 28, 2021

For only $69 you too can own a mini Bezos dick rocket.

The same product sold last year under the name “My First Dildo.”

Read more at The Verge

everything

Broadcaster and former QB Scott Zolak urges the New England Patriots to stop playing rap music during practice because he says Cam Newton’s dancing is distracting him

Tell me that you’re a racist, without telling me you’re a racist.

Read more at mediaite.

Patriots broadcaster Scott Zolak thinks Cam Newton is struggling because of rap music https://t.co/Qe4mR1DWnK pic.twitter.com/VmmxGc82Md

— New York Post (@nypost) August 27, 2021

The soccer star was playing for Juventus, and he was supposed to go to Manchester City and we wake up, and he’s going to Manchester U.

Okay this means nothing to you, but 90% of the world is flipping out over this news.

Read more at ESPN.

everything

Morgan County Sheriff’s Office Patrol Lieutenant Eric Fields gets a lot of attention at work from people who say he looks just like Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

He’s also a better actor.

Read more at NY Post

@chandlerelyse_

please tag @therock so he sees this 😂 #therock #dwaynetherockjohnson #MyTeacherWins #NeverStopExploring #fypシ #fypage

♬ original sound – ✨ Chandler ✨

Insiders say the reason Jennings – who was the most popular Jeopardy guest host- didn’t get the gig is because executives found some troubling old tweets, including one that read, “Nothing sadder than a hot person in a wheelchair.”

If he had said, “Nothing hotter than a sad person in a wheelchair,” everybody would have liked him.

Read more at mediaite.

Dave Grohl invited 11 year old drumming sensation Nani Bushell up on stage in Los Angeles on Thursday to play with the Foo Fighters

Dave, starting to worry this is turning into a stunt band.

Via Digg.

While filming MI7, Cruise lost luggage worth thousands of pounds stolen as thieves make off with bodyguard’s £100,000 BMW in Birmingham

Stop whining Tom, you’ve got that much cash in your left front pocket.

Read more at The Sun.

Ye’s Donda listening parties have been gigantic, and although he didn’t want to require guests to be vaccinated, he did bring along 1500 vaccines for a pop up vaccination center at both his Atlanta and Chicago events. Sadly only 13 attendees showed up at the tent for the shot in Chi-town, and only 4 doses were administered in Atlanta.

Is Kanye waiting for a vaccine for crazy?

Read more at Complex

everything

A tweet showing an invoice two no-show wedding guests went viral on Friday. The bride and groom who got married in Jamaica decided to charge the guests $120 a piece because they never called to say they weren’t coming. This sparked debate among other tweeters asking, who is the asshole?

Couldn’t you have just grabbed a couple hungry Jamaicans?

Read more at Barstool Sports.

It looks like a fun wedding. pic.twitter.com/eDWLKNrIcs

— KD (@Fly_Sistah) August 24, 2021

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a wedding reception invoice before lol pic.twitter.com/ZAYfGITkxP

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) August 24, 2021

You got your awful trend in my other awful trend.

Maybe i should pic.twitter.com/DbNVIA4kxI

— C P R (@SirjohnKyle) August 25, 2021

France used to be famous for their healthier attitudes about nudity, and topless beaches were far more common. But now a poll says just 19% of women feel comfortable topless.

For 48% of French ladies, physical safety was the primary concern; 46% also said they feared photos of their bare chests might end up on social media.

15% simply said, Vito.

Read more at NY Post.