When Did America Become Ass-Obsessed?

asses

Who is the Patient Zero that created our modern day obsession with the female posterior? America was once a land that put over large breasts, long legs and a tiny waist. That’s all in the past. A big ol’ ass now trumps all. A “thick” chick is what popular culture is looking for now. It’s what everyone wants to see, or have.

The Pre Cursor

Jennifer Lopez.  Who saw her coming? J-Lo broke the mold for the pop star, literally, with her large derriere. She became a huge pop music star, jumped into the acting sphere, and dominated the tabloids with a celebrity boyfriend/fiance. She laid the seed for the upcoming obsession with the bottom of a celebrity female’s body. What hurt her?  Too many other skills to distract from becoming the ass queen.

lopezcrop

 


 

Right Ass, Wrong Time

Vida Guerra.  You probably don’t even recognize the name, but you surely recognize the silhouette. Vida came to prominence in a 2002 FHM shoot and rode that wave, getting gigs in various music videos and an appearance on Chappelle’s Show. Her career petered out in 2005, she attempted to put out an album, and had some naked photos “leaked” of her onto the internets around the same time. Eventually she showed up in Playboy, but the time wasn’t right since another famous giant ass was about to blow everything before it away.

vidacrop

 

The Catalyst

Kim Kardashian.  At a point in the early 2000’s, Kardashian was just a hanger on in Paris Hilton’s party crew. By the mid point of the decade, people started taking notice of her, specifically her ass. Once her sex tape dropped, there was no turning back. Never has someone with so little talent and such a giant ass become as popular as Kim Kardashian. TV shows, magazine covers, Playboy shoots, branded merchandise, endorsements deals and a marriage to Kanye West have all come from her ass. She’s not a singer or actress like J Lo, or even a model like Vida Guerra, she’s simply the embodiment of a human’s posterior potential. She is the reason more than anyone else as to why the image of a beautiful woman now starts from the rear.

kimcrop

 


 

Collateral Assage

Thanks to Kim’s success in doing nothing but working her own butt, other women have become celebrated for the same thing, though unlike Kim, they have careers outside working the paparazzi. Just a couple year after Kim blew up, Sofia Vegara got cast on Modern Family and the world had a new woman to obsess over. Nikki Minaj and Iggy Azalea’s careers have only been bolstered by their, by some standards, absurdly large asses. Minaj is actually hounded with rumors that her ass is a product of implants.

Sofia Vergara

vergara

 

Nikki Minaj

minaj1

Iggy Azalea

iggy


 

The Future

Jen Selter.  And now we come to what the future is. Kim K is a mom now. She’s settling down on the French Riviera with Kanye doing god knows what. There needs to be a new beacon of light for the world to look to. That light is the Queen of Instagram, Jen Selter. Like Kim, Jen has no discernible talent. Like Kim, Jen has a mother who wants to manage her daughter. We can hope she has a sex tape on the horizon like Kim as well, to complete this trifecta. She’s just a Long Island gym bunny who knows what the worlds taste is right now – a women’s ass. You never want to hear her speak, but you certainly want to follow her on Instagram.

 

jenselter