November has arrived and it’s that time of year again. No Nut November means you’re not supposed to masturbate or have sex. The coming lockdown should make this all but impossible.

https://twitter.com/search?q=%22No%20Nut%20November%22&vertical=trends&s=03

More and more Americans have “no idea” how they’re getting the virus as we find ourselves in the middle of a third wave. This sounds like a case for Columbo.

Read more at msn.com.

Airlines are giving away free seats on flights to try and get people to come back to traveling over the air. Some are offering unlimited tickets for one price over certain periods of time. Hazmat suits might be the perfect perk for your Awards Bonus.

Read more at wsj.

Corey Lewandowski has doesn’t plenty of things over his political career but taking 70 bucks to endorse a producer who rarely cares?

The lowest.

Read more at mediaite.

Many people have taken it to the street for social and political reasons. These are the first people to stay in their cars while doing

Also they have boat parades.

Read more at nbcnewyork.

Garden State Parkway in Democratic New Jersey at a standstill in support of President Trump. @TeamTrump @EricTrump @DonaldJTrumpJr @POTUS pic.twitter.com/3tAL8oC3Tv

— The Lakewood Scoop (@LakewoodScoop) November 1, 2020

No pressure but you guys could eff really things up for rest of the country. Enjoy your power. We’ll just be sitting her drinking ourselves until blacking out.

Read more at nytimes.com.



Donald Trump teased that he may be firing Dr. Fauci as soon as the election is over while at a rally this weekend. Luckily for Fauci you can’t take anything Trump says as gospel, especially as he’s talking nonsense at a rally.

Trump supporters chant "Fire Fauci!" at midnight rally in Florida. "Let me wait until a little bit after the election," Trump replies pic.twitter.com/nGCirnZdRn

— BNO Newsroom (@BNODesk) November 2, 2020

Two men in India have been arrested for selling a doctor a magic lamp for $250,000. He could have gotten the same lamp at the Disney store for $35 bucks.

Read more at vice.com.

Steve Bing reportedly blew his 600 million dollar fortune on prostitutes, bad investments, and producing box office bombs. At the time of his death, he only had $300,000 in liquid assets. Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss claimed that Bing would spent $10,000 per prostitute session and handed out $250,000 to women with business ideas. His bedroom looked like a combination of Scarface and Caligula.

Read more at pagesix.

Pitcher Jon Lester spent over 25,000 on beers across four Chicago bars to show his appreciation for their support during his 6 year run with the Cubs. He’s prepping them for another 106 year title drought.

Read more at bleacherreport.com.

UFC fighter Jon Jones posted a video chasing a would-be robber with a shotgun during an attempted burglary at his home in New Mexico. Jones said he was able to catch the robber and held him at gunpoint until cops arrived. Jones is hoping to get a role in the next Expendables movie.

Read more at tmz.

After testing positive for COVID-19, Trevor Lawrence is no longer the favorite to win The Heisman Trophy. Oddsmakers now put Alabama QB Mac Jones and Justin Fields of Ohio State ahead of the Clemson standout. The Jets Jinx has made its way into the college ranks.

Read more at espn.

A London High Court has ruled that Johnny Depp is to lose his libel case in the UK. They judge said:

“The claimant has not succeeded in his action for libel,” the judge wrote, saying that The Sun newspaper had shown that its 2018 story under a headline calling Depp a “wife-beater” was “substantially true.”

He is now going to refile under the name Jack Sparrow and see if he can’t get a win that way.

Read more at pagesix.

Some people are pissed that KJ had a big birthday party after seeing the pics pop up on social meeds.

If there’s a young celebrity covid outbreak, contact tracers won’t have too much of a problem cracking this case.

Read more at buzzfeed.com.

no but kendall jenner really threw a big ass party with all those celebrities without masks in the middle of a pandemic with a “no social media” rule so people wouldn’t find out about it…. pic.twitter.com/RcRSUEBQ5o

— ath⁷ (@jeonlvr) November 1, 2020

Alleged claims are out saying that Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife (MY WIIIIFE) would play a “Who Would You Rather Have Sex With…” game about Liberty University students

From a Christian perspective, would it be worse if it was Fuck Marry Kill?

Read more at dailymail.

everything

everything

Ah. The good old days. When Dan Rather and CBS News had nothing more to worry about than Massholes hanging out playing Ms. Pacman.

Also the kids were on crack.

Read more at boingboing.

This kid in little league was able to hit his pitch and a foul ball at the same time. The foul ball must have come from the grassy knoll.

Via digg.

This kid hit a pitch AND a foul-ball from another field at exactly the same time.

Incredible… pic.twitter.com/bsk2q7xUwi

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) November 1, 2020

Are you freaked out about Tuesday? Maybe worse than you have been in your life? Congratulations. You are awake. Alive.

You are 2020!

Read more at studyfinds.org.

Finally some really good news. White House science office says Trump ended COVID-19 pandemic.
Now if you will excuse me. I’m going to kiss a nurse in Times Square.

Read more at politico.com.

Hair and beard shaggy? Put on weight? It’s 2020 and a pandemic is raging like the Hells Angels at Altamonte.

Fuck it.

Read more slate.com.

Look I try to stay away from politics but if you say another thing about Reese’s Cups, we will have to meet behind the school by the bike racks.

Read more at thehill.com.

Well if this doesn’t sound like a plot to some sci fi movie. Stick up your nose to get into New York.

Why didn’t we just make them know how Lou Reed is.

Read nypost.com.

Reddit asked the question and people answered. Apparently Europeans have better public restrooms, better bread, better policies, better pay, better public transportation, better chocolate, better attitudes toward nudity, better healthcare, better lines, and better cheese.

Okay yeah, but look at all the cool guns we have.

Read more at buzzfeed.

Kirstie Alley got into a Twitter beef with CNN over its coverage of the pandemic. The former Cheers star accused the network of fearmonging, while CNN responded that Alley is ‘welcome to change the channel – just like countless viewers did every time Veronica’s Closet came on TV’. CNN’s Twitter page should be renamed Evening Shade.

Read more at THR.com.

I now Know why my personal friends who walk around in SHEER TERROR of contracting Covid are simply CNN viewers! I decided to watch CNN myself to get a their viewpoint and oh my God DID I EVER!!!! IF YOU TOO WANT TO LIVE IN TERROR WATCH CNN!!
FEAR OF DYING IS THEIR MANTRA! OMG!

— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) October 30, 2020

Kirstie, you are welcome to change the channel – just like countless viewers did every time “Veronica’s Closet” came on TV. But don’t downplay the loss of nearly 230K American lives. And please, wear a mask.

— CNN Communications (@CNNPR) October 30, 2020

Be honest, did they just steal the Little Giant’s Annexation of Puerto Rico?

Via digg.

The fight between middleweights Jaime Munguia and Tureano Johnson was stopped when Johnson lost 10 percent of his upper lip from a Munguia uppercut. Even Mike Tyson thought it was disgusting.

Read more at yahoo.com.

This fight is stopped after 6 rounds due to a cut on Tuerano Johnson's lip.#MunguiaJohnson pic.twitter.com/wHu6SIIJnn

— DAZN Boxing (@DAZNBoxing) October 31, 2020

NBA great Shawn Kemp says he has no regrets about smoking weed during his playing days, claiming it was a safer alternative to pain pills. Now we know why he aggressively wanted an endorsement deal with White Castle.

Read more at tmz.

The Brooklyn Nets will honor borough native Jean-Michel Basquiat with an alternate jersey featuring several of his most famous imprints. The opposing team’s jersey will feature imprints by Julian Schnabel.

Read more at artnet.com.

The Nets’ City jersey for the 2020-2021 season has reportedly been leaked.

Thoughts? pic.twitter.com/b8roOIRWX6

— Legion Hoops (@LegionHoops) October 28, 2020

Barry ‘The Hatchet’ Vagnoni loves the Eagles so much that he convinced his wife to spend their life savings on the ultimate fan mancave. They added a section of their house to include a full bar, wide screen TVs and full dining area – all draped in Eagles apparel. The shrine will be featured on an upcoming documentary about the Eagles 2017 Super Bowl run. The dumpster is dedicated to Carson Wentz.

Read more at tmz.com.

Even in a the middle of a global pandemic celebrities can’t help but be extra.

Read move at vulture.

Unless there’s an outbreak of COVID in the facility, Lori Loughlin will have to serve the full two months in jail. Federal law only applies early release to sentences that are over a year. The actress plans to write a book about her experience called Full Bid.

Read more at tmz.

Vin Diesel premiered his latest single, ‘Days Are Gone’, on The Late Late Show. The actor says the nostalgic tone of the song ‘represents how we all feel right now’. His next single is going to be a remake of ‘Ebony & Ivory’ with Tom Hardy.

Read more at ew.

Sure you are attracted to LeAnn Rimes. Are you still attracted to her? Now that you know that she has Psoriasis?

Yeah, Of course.

Read more at people.com.

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A post shared by LeAnn Rimes Cibrian (@leannrimes)

The Conners are off to a rough ratings start in 2020. That’s hard to believe since Roseanne Barr is one of the funniest people in the world?

What? She’s not with the show? When? Why?

Read more at yahoo.

I know what you are thinking. Hollywood? All against Trump. Not true. Plenty of celebs like and support Trump.

The untalented ones.

Read more at buzzfeed.com.

Sean Connery, the first and best James Bond and an Academy Award winner for his role as Jimmy Malone in The Untouchables, passed away at the age of 90. Vodka martini, dry, shaken for everyone.

Read more at THR.

Just suddenly realized those two guys running for President are both kind of old, huh?

It’s a walk off. Barack called game.

“That’s what I do.”

44, y’all.

Vote Biden/Harris…pic.twitter.com/eGGCjbGMlv

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 31, 2020

Cameras captured this seagull stealing a bag of chips without a hitch. Police have deployed extra officers to area fish markets.

Anarchy!#GreggsRiots #pmht pic.twitter.com/sym88vbkw4

— Pete Clark #pmht (@DoctorPete) October 29, 2020

How long do you date someone that you are really not that into? 3 dates or maybe 3 months?

How about as soon as you get laid?

Read more at melmagazine.