Monday May 4: Daily Links (Plus Weekend Links)

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MONDAY 5.4

NEWS STORIES

 

Missouri Governor Wants Concerts Back Starting Today

For those about to rock. We salute you. Missouri Governor Mike Parson has given the okay for concerts to begin again in the state as early as Monday

Great news for any band planning a one city tour

Read more at billboard.com.

The World Is Running Out Of Places To Store Oil

With oil prices in the basement and less car and air travel due to the coronavirus, countries are running out of storing facilities for all the oil being pumped. They can try using old soccer and footballs stadiums, we may not need them for a while.

Read more at qz.com.

Should Businesses Finally Adopt The Four Day Work Week?

With the mass work from home situation the world is in, the argument for the four day work week is stronger than ever. If this can happen Thirsty Thursdays will come back in a whole new way.

Read more at medium.com.

Japanese Aquarium Wants People To Facetime Their Eels

An aquarium in Japan is asking people to Facetime with their eels for social interaction. Netflix needs to sing the Eel King immediately.

Read more at abc7chicago.com.

Amazon VP Quits, Calls Company Chickenshit For Firing Protesting Employees

A senior engineer and Vice President has quit Amazon calling them “chickenshit” for firing employees and punishing whistelblowers, also saying it’s creating a climate of fear. His packages are going to take a lot longer to come from now on.

Read more at vice.com.

Live From Washington, DC It’s The Supreme Court!

The Supreme Court will broadcast a session live over TV and radio for the first time ever. Kate McKinnon could step in for RGB if she’s not feeling well.

Read more at yahoo.com.

J Crew Files For Bankruptcy

J. Crew just declared bankruptcy, bringing a new reality toward during these times of Covid. Dear God please let Spencer’s Gifts get through this.

Read more at nypost.com.

SPORTS

nothing here yet

ENTERTAINMENT

Kevin James ‘s Surprise Party Takes a Black Mirror Swerve

It’s a cute video and fun twist and Kev, we know your act is based on your weight but you are one peanut butter cup away from losing a foot

We don’t need another sad Adam Sandler parody song.

Via digg.

Never Been Done B4: All Star Wars Movies Ranked For Star Wars Day

For May 4th, Star Wars Day, one website took on the arduous task of ranking every Star Wars movie. Please, don’t be shocked at what comes in at number one.

Read ore at wtop.com.

Boss Bitch Fight Challenge Features Top Hollywood Actresses

Scarlett Johansson, Margot Robbie, and Rosario Dawson were among some of the top Hollywood actresses and stuntwomen featured in the Zoe Bell-directed virtual Boss Bitch Fight Challenge. Quentin’s working on a script that will include plenty of foot closeups.

Read more at ew.com.

Padma Lakshmi Chugs Tequila To Cope With Kid Being Home Until September

After learning that her 10 year old daughter won’t be returning to school until the fall, Padma Lakshimi posted a video of her chugging down a bottle of tequila to show her frustration. The Top Chef host claimed ‘it was tea’ and ‘for entertainment purposes only.’ Producers are hoping to spin off a new series, Top Chef: Drinking Games.

Read more at pagesix.com.

The Mountain Deadlifts 1,100 Pounds

Hafthor Bjornsson, who played The Mountain on Game Of Thrones, set a new world record by deadlifting 1,100 pounds. For his next stunt, Bjornsson will attempt to deadlift the entire Game Of Thrones cast.

Via digg.

J Lo Teaches Shakira How To Butt Jiggle

In new rehearsal footage from this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, Jennifer Lopez tells Shakira the secret to a successful booty shake: If you shake your knees, your butt goes’. Lopez said that she learned this from her mother when she was only 4 years old. It’s all from Lopez’s upcoming book, ‘Bronx Booty Secrets’.

Read more at tmz.

GOING VIRAL

Turkeys Want the Golf Courses

Birdie, good. Eagle great. Turkey? You don’t want any part of this. He’ll rip your lungs out Jim.

Scary Monkey Trick.

This monkey comes riding up on a bike and I promise that you will forget that by the end of this scary ass video.

Covid may start Planet of the Apes.

Three Year Old Plays Chess Against Grandmaster

Dude, you couldn’t let the kid get the win? The Russians really are cold blooded.

What Happens If You Try To Through The Earth To The Other Side

Looks like Bugs Bunny and Journey To The Center Of The Earth really were full of shit.

https://twitter.com/i/events/1256319543644844034

WEEKEND STORIES

NEWS STORIES

 

Great, Now There’s a ‘Murder Hornet’ in the USA

Super deadly hornets that wipe out colonies of bees and aren’t that fun for people to be around either are here and we need to get rid of them. OK God, we are trying not to take this personal but come on. This is personal. You are making this very personal

Read more at nypost.com.

Andrew Cuomo Most Popular Politician in America!?

Is this the upside down place or what? Andrew Cuomo is popular. People find great comfort in his daily press briefing.

His secret is he doesn’t act like Trump.

Read more at cnn.com.

Pollution Drops Making the Himalayas Visible in Parts of India for First Time in 30 Years

Upside of the coronavirus global wide shutdown is the earth is getting a break, the air quality is improving, along with the view.

The Downside… all the other shit.

Read more at indiatimes.com.

Move Over Coronavirus Shutdown Protestors… Antivaxers Want In on the Action

Antivaxers are protesting, this time, before there’s even a vaccine to bitch about.

Oh cool, Antivaxers showin up like the human form murder hornets.

Read more at nytimes.com.

Time Is Warped In Quarantine

Scientists are trying to explain why time is moving so fast while we’re all quarantined. Probably because of all the puzzles everyone’s crushing right now.

https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2020-05-01/does-it-feel-like-like-time-is-flying-by-during-coronavirus-quarantine-heres-why

Air Travel Will Change Forever, Here’s a Preview

If you’re thinking the biggest change about air travel will mean wearing a mask for your flight think again.
Experts are predicting you may have to have to provide proof of wellness through documentation or actual airport testing, touchless terminals to check in, bag sanitization process, and barriers between seats. Remember the good old days when when you got on an airplane you just worried you would crash and die?

The good old days.

Read more at axios.com.

Florida Man is Grim Reaper on TV

With all the weird strange in the world isn’t it nice to know that Florida still is the strangest of us all?

God bless the weird

Read more at yahoo.com.

Who’s Ripping Off the Chateau Marmont Staff

It was nice to hear that 300 thousand dollars was raised for the laid off staff of the iconic L.A. hotel Chateau Marmont.

So where is the bread? Check Danny Ocean.

Read more at pagesix.com.

SPORTS

Andy Dalton Continues To Be Loser, Signs With Cowboys For One Year

Andy Dalton has decided to sign a one year contract with the Cowboys because they always need at least one ginger on staff.

Read more at cbssports.com.

Mike Tyson Releases New Training Clip, Teases Comeback

Mike Tyson released a clip of him hitting the mitts again as part of a promo deal for the Bad Boys For Life DVD release. Iron Mike also teased returning to the ring to fight 3-4 round exhibitions for charities. That sound you hear is Tyson Fury crapping in his pants.

Read more at tmz.com.

Will Ferrell Crashes The Seahawks Virtual Team Meeting

Will Ferrell crashed the Seahawks virtual team meeting subbing for tight end Greg Olsen. For the next meeting, Luke Wilson will stand in for Russell Wilson.

ENTERTAINMENT

Trevor Noah Goes in Pocket for Furloughed Crew

You already knew that Trevor Noah was a good dude but he’s taken it to next level Noah is “The Daily Show” from home so, he’s personally paying the salaries of 25 crew members who can’t contribute to the remote version of the show, such as studio camera operators and other techs.

In other news, Ellen put in a pay toilet for her writers.

Read more at nydailynews.com.</a

Joey Pants Rushed to Hospital After Being Hit By Car

“Sopranos” star Joe Pantoliano was hit by a car while walking in Connecticut. He’s okay but now the driver of the car is in hiding.

Read more at tmz.com.

Tenacious D Teaches Us All About “The 5 Needs”

Jack Black and Kyle Gass are Tenacious D once again with their new song “The 5 Needs”

Is it just us or are those guys getting younger?!

Keenan Ivory Wayans’ Speech To Graduating Class Of 2020 Has A NSFW Ending

Keenan Ivory Wayans gave a warm, inspiring message to a graduating class of 2020 – with an ending few saw coming. Reps for Wayans denied that this was a teaser for an an X rated Cameo account.

Bernie Goetz Is A Corona Virus & Quarantine Denier

New York City subway gunman Bernie Goetz thinks that wearing a mask and social distancing is ‘bulls*it’ and thinks ‘everyone’s brainwashed’ about obeying the lockdown measures. Goetz can still be seen in Union Square Park, without a mask, feeding squirrels. He’s auditioning squirrels for his new podcast, Dr Shootlittle.

Read more at nypost.

GOING VIRAL

Woman’s Quest to Clean A Papa John’s Pan for No Reason

Some people are baking bread, others are learning to knit….

This woman’s quarantine is spent cleaning a weird pan from Papa John’s. You judge her, but why did you watch till the end then?!

Little Girl and Sheep

What could be better than a little girl showing off her sheep

I love living in the 1750s.

Read More Stories From the IB Wire

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Interrobang Staff
Interrobang Staff