Monday January 15 Daily Links

MONDAY 1.15
NEWS STORIES
Independent Party at an All Time High
Those who identify as democrats have hit a new low, with the independent party returning to the record high they hit in 2014.
If everyone’s doing it how does that make you independent?
DeSantis Gets Participation Trophy
Some dude trolled Gov DeSantis in Iowa handing him a participation trophy and saying he’s proud of Ron for trying.
The Trolls are finally out of the comments and into the headlines.
Microsoft Finally Beat Apple
Sorry Apple, Microsoft just by passed you knocking you out for first place in the race for most valuable public company in the world.
Apple has responded by making their employees start paying for coffee. Cuz coffee is for closers.
Mobster Calls Trump Legit
Sammy the Bull said he tried to get to Trump back in the day assuming he was corrupt, but ended up concluding that he and his business was legitmate
That’s nothing, MC Hammer called him 2 legit to quit.
Trump Turns on Ramaswamy
He’s not MAGA, he said in a Truth social post. “Vivek started his campaign as a great supporter, ‘the best President in generations,’ etc. Unfortunately, now all he does is disguise his support in the form of deceitful campaign tricks. Very sly, but a vote for Vivek is a vote for the “other side” — don’t get duped by this,” said Trump. “Vote for ‘TRUMP,’ don’t waste your vote! Vivek is not MAGA. The Biden Indictments against his Political Opponent will never be allowed in this Country, they are already beginning to fall! MAGA!!!”
And this is how smamy the bull treated his freinds as well
SPORTS
Bill Belichick Counted Brady Out Too Soon
ESPN’s deep look at the Belichick era revealed something long suspected. Belichick went to Kraft and told him Brady was done. And that was before Brady went on to win a Super Bowl with the Bucs.
Belichick hasn’t been right about much in a long time.
Tommy Cutlets Moment is Done
Now that he’s not starting, Tommy Cutlets is more like Cold Cutlets. His deal with Raos is done, his signed merch prices are plummeting, and no sign of things improving.
There’s always installing boilers.
Steve Young Felt Bad For Patrick Mahomes
We get it, women don’t want women to get in the way of men.
Jordan Love Tries to Help Woman Stuck in Stone
Packers’ star Jordan Love has a big game this weekend, but that didn’t stop him from helping a 20 year old woman whose car got stuck in the snow during a blizzard. Well he didn’t actually help- they were unsuccessful in getting the car unstuck, but at least he tried.
In other news Aaron Rodgers is burning ants with a magnifying glass.
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Onion Staffers Threaten Strike
If no deal is reached by January 31, the writers of the Onion, and AV Club are going on strike.
These are going to be the funniest strike signs of all time.
Robert Downey JR Defends His Tropic Thunder Role
RDJ gave the Archie Bunker defense for his blackface role in Tropic Thunder. He says people should look beyond the surface of his performance — where he was playing a caricature of a person — and consider the larger message the film was trying to convey about his character … namely, highlighting tropes that had been perpetuated for years.
Why do you have to answer this question every seven weeks. Next time someone asks, just tell them to google it.
Jo Koy Calls Audience Marshmallows
While doing a stand up set, he addressed his performance at the Golden Globes. “Lot a marshmallows, man. They’re delicious, but goddamn, they’re soft. I just come from a different time. I see the changes that are happening. I get it, but goddamn, can we f***ing laugh at ourselves?”
When jokes don’t work, first blame the writers, then the audience.
Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, PT Anderson Extend TCM Involvement
As Turner Classic Movies celebrates its 30th anniversary this year, the beloved cable channel is extending its partnership with Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson.
Couldn’t add a woman or a black guy?
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VIRAL & TRENDING
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EVERYTHING
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STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
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