Monday February 22: Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at February 22, 2021

MONDAY 2.22

NEWS STORIES

Was the NYPD Involved in Malcolm X's Murder?

Malcolm X’s daughters believe that they have evidence that the NYPD and FBI were involved in his murder. In a deathbed confession, an undercover cop says he was told to obstruct the arrival of Malcom X’s security detail on the day he was killed.

Weird. This just doesn’t sound like the NYPD.

Someone Sent a Mariachi Band to Ted Cruz House

We don’t know why. Maybe it was a consolation prize for Ted who was missing his south of the border vacation. Perhaps it was for Snowflake who was left behind.

Wish someone could figure out a way to get Dudley Moore’s character from the movie “10” into this scene.

They brought a mariachi band to Ted Cruz’s house

pic.twitter.com/sURfKqN2ap

— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) February 22, 2021

Power Company Responds to Outrageous Texas Utility Bills

Some Texas Residents are receiving insane bills this month for their power– with residents receiving bills for $6k or even $17k. The insane rates are not a mistake, its just the result of an unregulated energy market, where providers can charge market rates up to $9 per kilowatt hour.

One company responded to a question about whether they would provide relief. They answered, “we understand that it would be unacceptable to have customers bear the costs on their monthly bill, so we are working diligently to find ways to spread those costs to 10 years or longer to make it more affordable.”

Yaaaay capitalism! Tell us again, grandpa, how awful socialism is!?

Pineapple Express heads for Northwest

Time for the Pacific NorthWest to get excited! The Pineapple Express is coming your way. It’s an atmospheric river of bad weather is beelining from Hawaii to Washington state.

Oh shit, so this isn’t Dale and Saul’s Pineapple Express?

Coast Guard Rescues 10 From Runaway Ice Floe on Lake Erie

7 adults and 3 kids are embarrassed after the Coast Guard had to rescue them from an Ice Floe that broke off on Lake Erie.

Sometimes that’s the only way to get away from a Bumble. Next stop island of misfit toys!

Florida Restaurant Brags they Don’t Wear Face Diapers

BeckyJack’s Food Shack in Florida is proud of their no mask policy, and have a big sign out front letting people know it.

Florida has spent this pandemic making it very clear, they’re not too crazy about their elderly population.

CNN Will Now Explain The Word Simp To All Of Us

CNN turned to Urban Dictionary and a Zoomer PR strategist to get to the bottom of what the term simp means. According to the zoomer, “‘Simp’ is slang for a person (typically a man) who is desperate for the attention and affection of someone else (typically a woman),”.

Now you know how to correctly insult someone when using the word simp. Thanks, CNN.

Take A Look At What Texas Inmates Are Eating

Texas inmates have been sharing the meals they’re being given with contraband cell phones that have been snuck into their facilities. To be honest this isn’t THAT much worse than the food at an all inclusive Cancun resort.

Digital GIF Sells For $600k At Auction Because Why Not? It's 2021

The website Foundation, a place where people buy and sell digital goods, sold a classic gif of Nyan Cat at auction for $600,000. The art is legitimized by being on the blockchain, which is the same technology behind cryptocurrency. You better start buying up every Bad News Brian meme you can if you want to retire early.

Ted Cruz Brought Along College Buddy To Cancun Trip

Turns out Ted Cruz brought his family AND an old college buddy along to his big Cancun trip that blew up in his dumb face.

Now snowflake really feels like shit.

SPORTS

Tom Brady Doesn't Want a Vacation

Tom Brady is not happy about having the next five months off, and tried to charm twitter today asking what he’s supposed to do until pre-season.

Well, you could have a half a baby, or, I dunno, why don’t you go back to rimming gronk.

Soooo what am I supposed to do for the next 5 months…?

— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) February 21, 2021

21 Year Old Woman Solo Rowed From Spain to Antigua

Jasmine Harrison became the youngest woman to solo row across an ocean and it only took her 70 days and 3 hours to do it.

By the way, you know we have airplanes now. You can get from Spain to Antigua in under 8 hours, and get a free soft drink.

Chris Webber Wants More Minority Weed Dealers

Former NBA star Chris Webber is co-sponsoring a 100 million dollar private equity fund to help minorities succeed in the weed business. The NBA TV analyst pointed out that poor Black and Latino entrepreneurs get shut out because some states require $60,000 deposit to apply for a dispensary license. To be eligible, Webber is asking all applicants to memorize all of the lyrics to Peter Tosh’s Legalize It album.

High School Player Who Trash Talked Cam Newton Now Getting Trolled On Twitter

The high school football player who trash talked Cam Newton during a competition sponsored by Newton, is now being trolled on social media. The former MVP received kind words for how he handled the criticism, while the aspiring athlete got slammed for being disrespectful and failing to engage in a real conversation with Newton. Cam should’ve given the kid three chances to make an open field tackle on him.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

The Muppet Show is Not Safe for Disney

Disney + is streaming classic episodes of The Muppets, but not without a warning. You boomers may think that the Muppets were woke and taught you about acceptance and loving everyone, but you were wrong. The show includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of people or cultures.

Turns out it Never was easy being green.

Olivia Rodrigo Loves SNL Sketch About Her Song

Olivia Rodrigo calls the SNL sketch about her hit song, Drivers License, “The Best Birthday Present Ever”

Interesting to know there was someone out there Saturday Night who felt the exact opposite way of Ted Cruz.

Woody Allen Hates Allen V. Farrow

Woody Allen said the HBO doc, ‘Allen v. Farrow’, is ‘riddled with falsehoods’ and the accusations leveled at him, ‘categorically false’. The embattled director also called the four-part series, ‘a hatchet job’. Woody, if you want to know what a hatchet job is, re-watch ‘A Rainy Day In New York’.

The Queen’s TV Address Airing Same Day As Oprah Interview With Harry & Meghan

Queen Elizabeth II will speak in a televised address the same day Oprah’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will air. The only way The Queen gets better ratings is if she dishes on all of the times she caught Prince Andrew jacking in the Royal Bathroom to a copy of Barely Legal.

Erotic Photos of Woman Posing with a Bear Perplexes the Internet

Either this is the worlds best furry costume or this lady is out here riskin’ too much for those Only Fans tips.

It’s actually a photo by Moscow-based Russian photographer Katerina Plotnikova who used animal trainers to accomplish this and many other ‘in the wild’ photos with beautiful women.

Would you take pics with a bear? 😳😳 pic.twitter.com/aetGCSqbqe

— Reginald B Myers (@polo_man404) February 20, 2021

Twitter Debates: What was the book you were assigned in high school you fell in love with?

No it doesn’t count if you pretended read it and just really loved the SparkNotes

What a book you were assigned to read in high school English and fell in love with?

— Isaac Butler (@parabasis) February 21, 2021

Okay here are some of mine:
Invisible Man
Their Eyes Were Watching God
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Henry IV, part 1
Death and the King’s Horseman
All Quiet on the Western Front
Uh… the Bible, specifically the Book of Job.

— Isaac Butler (@parabasis) February 22, 2021

VIRAL VIRAL

Mortgage Company Releases Erotic Home Buyers Guide

No we have no idea why, but this is real, and you can buy it.

Hope there’s a chapter on how you are going to get screwed by the power company if you buy in Texas.

STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS

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