Due to the supply chain issues, there’s a cream cheese shortage around New York City’s bagel shops. Time to start hoarding it like Bitcoin.

Read more at the NYT.

During the Maxwell trial, a staff rulebook was submitted into evidence that detailed how the help should act in the home. Never ask any questions, don’t look Epstein in the eye, and make sure to put his gun in the nightstand. All for minimum wage. What a deal.

Read more at the New York Post.

Northwest Arkansas? That’s where young professionals are looking to move to, with the Walmart’s headquarters being there and the area still being affordable. All they need is a couple of Murderino podcasts to set up shop there and it’s on.

Read more at Bloomberg.

No it’s not Shark Basel, and no I couldn’t tell you why, but trackers showed that some 100 sharks lined up along the east coast of the US,

Are these sharks or Russian subs? #oneuglysummer

Read more at NY Post.

sharks are amassing on the east coast pic.twitter.com/GDI250biUE

— stuart (@punished_stu) December 1, 2021

Covid concerns have led officials in Brazil to cancel NYE celebrations this year.

Does this mean it will still be 2021 in Brazil this January?

Read more at BNN Bloomberg.

everything

Chris Collinsworth has signed a contract keeping him in the booth at the rate of $12.5 million a season. Proof that life is unfair.

Read more at The Spun.

Noted weirdo Gardner Minshew celebrated with his dad after the Eagles game on Sunday. These two seem a little TOO close. Like, tag teaming the same woman kinda close.

Watch the moment on Tik Tok.

@barstoolphilly

You love to see it (via tw/jclarknbcs) #philly #philadelphia #eagles #philadelphiaeagles #gobirds #flyeaglesfly #nfl #minshewmania

♬ original sound – Barstool Philly

RG3’s teased that in his new book he’s going to detail what a trainwreck the Washington Football Team is and that he was sexually harassed. Can’t wait to not buy the book and read what happened on the Daily Mail for free.

Read more at People.

Adam Schefter’s Tweeting that Ben Roethelsberger is telling former teammates and people in the Steelers organization this is his last year. The Ben Rogers Band frontman is conflicted about this.

Read more on Twitter.

Ben Roethlisberger privately has told former teammates and some within the organization that he expects this to be his final season playing quarterback for the Steelers, league sources told ESPN.

More coming ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown, with a special start time at 9 am ET.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 4, 2021

This guy trying to put on a poncho at the Bears game, and failing, is a perfect video to sum up the Bears game on Sunday.

Are we sure this isn’t the Bears coach?

Kenny Pickett hailed off defenders by faking a slide– usually a signal from QBs that defenders can back up, he’s going down. But Pickett faked the slide and then ran the ball all the way into the end zone for a TD.

From now on when a QB slides, take his fucking head off

Gisele Bundchen posted a video of her saving a sea turtle from a fishing net to her Instagram. Not to be outshone, Tom Brady is going to sink a whaling ship at some point this week.

Read more at Page Six.

everything

everything

EVERYTHING

56% of American adults age 18-25 are obese or overweight. You’d never tell with what the Tik Tok algorithm gives you.

Read more at MSN.

The most recent census is showing that 18% of US households have a pair of married adults with children under the age of 18. That number is down from 40% back in 1970. It’s probably Tik Tok’s fault.

Read more at dailymail.