Monday April 13: Daily Links (Plus Weekend Links)

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MONDAY 4.13

NEWS STORIES

 

Coronavirus Spreading Through Farts !?

Oh damn. Social distancing is one thing but trying to stop guys from farting? No chance.

Chris ‘fartsalot’ Stanley may be a serial killer.

Read more from dailystar.co.uk.

No Shit Report: Americans Are Spending Their Money Differently

The New York Times crunched the numbers and found American’s are spending way more on groceries and less on travel and restaurants. This should mean Super Market Sweep can become the biggest game show in the history of game shows.

Read more at nytimes.com.

Motorcycle Crew Take Over UES Street In NYC

A motorcycle and ATV crew took over the streets of the Upper East Side in Manhattan over the weekend. If only they were staying 6 feet away from each other no one would have complained.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

SPORTS

Nascar Driver Drops N Bomb While Playing Video Game

During a live stream of a racing video game, Nascar driver Kyle Larson dropped an n bomb over voice chat. Unfortunately there’s no other sports news for Kyle to get buried in. So, if everything’s already been canceled how can someone be canceled. It’s a conundrum.

Read more at heavy.com.

Former Star NFL Running Back Accused Of A Murder For Hire Shooting

Chris Johnson, former running back for the Titans and Jets, has been accused of a hiring a gangster to kill two people who had shot Chris Johnson previously. He also is being accused of running a drug operation. Netflix, get on this right now, he can be the new Joe Exotic.

Read more at tmz.com.

ENTERTAINMENT

Tracy Morgan Almost Hits Dude With His Lambo

Tracy Morgan was caught on video arguing with a man who he apparently almost hit with his lambo in the Times Square area of New York City. What we didn’t see on tape is Tracy threatening to get the man pregnant.

Read more at tmz.com.

Ronda Rousey Doubles Down On Not Returning To WWE

After getting called out by wrestlers Alexa Bliss and Lana for calling WWE fans ‘f**cking ungrateful‘ and matches ‘fake fights for fun’, Ronda Rousey doubled down on Instagram by saying pro wrestling isn’t on the same level of realism of boxing or MMA. Rousey closed out the rant by saying that if someone got into 300 real fights in a year, they ‘would be dead’. She also denied reports that Dana White offered her several million dollars to do an MMA version of The Diggstown Challenge.

Read more at tmz.com.

Jose Canseco Trolls A-Rod with Easter Tweet

Jose Canseco trolled A-Rod on Twitter, saying ‘Happy Easter to everyone except Alex Rodriguez’. Canseco was the first to call out A-Rod for steroid use, accused him of hitting on his former wife Jessica while she and Canseco were still married, and challenged the former Yankee star to an MMA style fight. He also pitched the MLB Network for him and A-Rod to star in a reboot of ‘The Odd Couple’.

Read more at nypost.com.

Selena Gomez Buys Tom Petty’s House

The 27 year old pop star bought Tom Petty’s house in Encino for 4.9 million. The 11,000 square foot house has 6 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, gym, wine cellar and a recording booth. Gomez’s reps denied reports that as you leave the estate, ‘Don’t Come Around Here No More’ plays at full blast.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

GOING VIRAL

Watch a Dude Walk on Water

Well here’s a challenge that could keep the Internet busy.

Jenny Hutt challenges Chris Rock.

Via digg.

Dog and Emu Having a Time

Pixar, if you have a chance this could be the next big blockbuster franchise.

Call Jack Black and Jim Jeffries for V.O.

Cat Fashion Show Killing It

‘Cause I’m a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk’

WEEKEND LINKS

NEWS STORIES

 

These Are The Odds On Who Joe Biden Will Take As His Running Mate

For some odd reason Sarah Palin is a giant long shot here.

Read more at nypost.com.

US Air Travel Is Down 96%

The TSA is reporting that the amount of people flying in the US is down 96%. That other 4% is people who just like to live dangerously.

Read more at cnn.com.

Millennials Making Parents Sad By Not Visiting

Millennials say their parents are mad at them for not coming over for Passover and Easter.

Just show up and kill them. Problem solved.

Read more at yahoo.com.

New Cross Country Driving Cannonball Run Record Set

Since no one is on the road anymore, a new cross country record has been set while driving with a time of 26 hours and 38 minutes. There’s going to have to be an asterisk next to this in the record book.

Read more at nbcnews.com.

These Products Have The Fastest Growing Online Sales

The bread machine and latex glove industries are booming while luggage companies are tanking. If someone can make a carry on that also bakes bread they’d make a mint.

Via digg.

SPORTS

Ronda Rousey Hates WWE Fans

“What am I doing it for if I’m not being able to spend my time and energy on my family,
but instead spending my time and my energy on a bunch of fucking ungrateful fans that don’t even appreciate me?”

OK Rhonda what will you stink at next?

Read more at espn.com.

Simone Biles Sexy Hand Stand Challenge

Simone Biles has combined the athletic discipline of gymnastics with the excitement of pole dancing.

This is the Reeses cup of masturbation.

ENTERTAINMENT

Hey Jude Lyrics Sell for $910,000 !

The Beatles’ handwritten Hey Jude lyrics sold for $910,000 at an auction and Chris Stanley sold his Kreeps with Kids Theme lyrics for two farts and a piss.

Read more at theguardian.com.

Dallas Cowboys Throws (Up To) 30 Person Party

Dak Prescott threw a birthday party party for a friend and had 30 people at his home, including Ezekiel Elliott. Jerry Jones unfortunately couldn’t go, he has to stay self quarantined in his coffin at all times due to the covid-19 outbreak.

Read more at nypost.com.

Here Are The Photos Lauri Laughlin Used to Get Her Kids Into USC

The photos that were used to get Lauri Laughlin’s kids into USC have been released showing them playing sports they never actually participated in. It should have been a red flag when one of the pictures showed them landing on the moon.

Read more at nypost.com.

Justin Timberlake Claims Dick In The Box Almost Got Pulled From SNL Last Minute.

Justin Timberlake said that the FCC nearly pulled the now classic ‘Dick In The Box’ song due to content. Timberlake also claimed that by bleeping out the word ‘dick’ it actually made the song funnier. Timberlake also denied that he was working on a new song, ‘Sleeping With My Co-Star’

Read more at billboard.com.

Paulina Porizkova Celebrates Her 55th Birthday By Posting Bikini Pic

The former supermodel posted a pic that she took two months ago in Costa Rica. She ended her post with a series of hashtags including #betweenjloandbettywhite. Sports Illustrated wants to make that the theme of their next swimsuit issue.

View this post on Instagram

TBT. Less than two months ago, the world was still a familiar place. And I was basking in its best incarnation, here in Costa Rica. ? Humor me, if you will, today. I’m now 55, and I have gone through half a lifetime only liking the way I look in retrospect. I look at old photos and realize how good I had it. So today, I am looking at myself, (in an admittedly flattering photo) and think, “ hey, I m a good 55 year old! ” I will feel pretty today. And endlessly grateful for all the gifts life has bestowed on me thus far. They’ve been many. Quarantine is a great time to sift through them all. Hermosahills.com #costarica?? #costarica #villaneruda #hermosahills #sofuckinggrateful #betweenjloandbettywhite #puravida #santateresa #santateresacostarica #shamelessvacationing #flattenthecurve

A post shared by Paulina Porizkova (@paulinaporizkov) on

Jack Black Crushes A Passover Standard

Jack Black rocks out on the Passover standard ‘Chad Gadya’, which he claims is the first metal song. For Chanukah, he’s going to do ‘The Dradle Song’ as an 80s power ballad.

View this post on Instagram

✂️ @taylorstephens Link to song in bio!

A post shared by Jack Black (@jackblack) on

GOING VIRAL

Madonna Posts ANOTHER New Bizarre Quarantine Video

For her latest IG post, Madonna sits in a darkened room at a typewriter, attempting to write poetry, and yelling at one of her sons. All of this is in preparations for her spoken word album, ‘Crazy For COVID’.

Read more at pagesix.com.

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Interrobang Staff
Interrobang Staff