Jimmy Kimmel Shreds ABC, Fox, All of TV In His Annual Upfront Roast
According to deadline.com, Jimmy Kimmel took the stage in the middle of ABC’s annual upfront event, where they introduce their upcoming schedule for next season, and gave the networks their annual smackdown.
Kimmel’s upfront roast has become a tradition for ABC. Yesterday marked his 13th appearance at the network’s event.
Kimmel, the face of the network, took plenty of shots at ABC’s industry executives, opening with:
“Before we get going, I just want [to confirm that] a grown man with a degree from Oxford University stood on this stage and told you he’s excited about the Muppets.”
He also called out the ridiculousness of the upfront season, where each network claims that they are at the top of the pyramid. “Yesterday NBC told you that they’re the No. 1 network, and now here we are telling you we’re the No. 1 network. Which means one of us is lying to you. And I’m here to tell you it’s us.”
Kimmel hilariously continued to call out this silly tradition: “”Our news division is on a roll, ABC World News had its first first place finish in seven years this season, thanks to anchor Brian Williams. [NBC] didn’t mention it yesterday, but Brian of course was suspended for six moths for basically doing the same thing we’re doing to you right now.”
Kimmel also took on diversity on television, a frequent point of contention, saying, “We’re doing very very well since we decided to start acknowledging that minorities exist. We truly are the most diverse network. We have a show called Black-ish that was greenlit by a guy who is both British and Jewish. We’ve got people of color, we’ve got women, we’ve got men who are turning into women. We are commited to diversity at every level of our organization. Except The Bachelor, we’re going to keep that one white.”
He then took a quick jab at CBS: “We are so diverse that when CBS drives by us, they lock their car doors.”
Kimmel didn’t leave out NBC’s weak programming: “I’m actually glad NBC is bringing back Coach, because at night I lie awake at night wondering what Coach has been up to for the last 18 years. I’ll finally get some closure on that.”
Kimmel gave credit to Shonda Rhimes, the creator, head writer, and showrunner for ABC’s hit shows, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, and Scandal, while calling out ABC President Paul Lee for diminishing Shonda’s impact: “Of course, a lot of the credit for [ABC’s success] goes to Shonda Rhimes, This was odd — in an interview with Adweek last month, Paul said that ABC’s success is only partially due to Shonda. Which is kind of like saying the success of Thriller is only partially due to Michael Jackson. Paul, let’s be honest, without Shonda you’d be back at Hogwarts with all the other muggles.”
Kimmel had to wrap it up, saying, “Sorry, my Uber driver is four minutes away.”
Kimmel has made news recently when he announced that he would be airing a rerun on Wednesday, May 20th, on the night of Letterman’s last show. ““I have too much respect for Dave to do anything that would distract viewers from watching his final show,” Mr. Kimmel said in an email to the New York Times. “Plus, I’ll probably be crying all day, which makes it hard to work.” A gracious move from Kimmel — no matter what Jerry Seinfeld says.
