A Philadelphia woman is accused of attacking a 10-year-old boy at the Wildwood Crest motel pool, and then biting an officer who showed up to arrest her.

Summer kicking off with a bang in Wildwood NJ

Read more at 6abc

Robert F Kennedy Jr. was initially outraged when he wasn’t invited to the debate between Presidential candidates Biden and Trump. But the reality is, Robby, you just don’t qualify. You need to satisfy 3 requirements- and he only managed one- he is legally capable of running. The other two, being on enough state ballots, and scoring at least 15% in a couple of national polls, he failed.

Your uncle would be so proud.

Read more at mediate

As Jeff Landry signed the bill to require the Ten Commandments to appear in every Louisiana classroom, a child fainted behind him.

Some girls swoon for a good signing.

Read more at mediaite

Disgraced US Congressman and compulsive liar George Santos has announce dthat he’s joining Only Fans, at a price point of $29.95 per month.

For that price, I expect butthole.

Read more at mediaite.

Everyone knew it was coming, JJ Redick has his job as head coach of the Lakers with a four year contract.

The good news is that when they fire you next year you’ll still get paid.

Read more at CBS Sports

“I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t wanna let the people at Fox here down and I certainly don’t want to let the great NFL fans down either.” – Tom Brady on his future in broadcasting.

Tom don’t worry all of your competition stinks. The worst you can do is tie.

Read more at awful announcing

A celebrity basketball tournament set to take place in a NJ high school in New Jersey has been canceled for being inappropriate after the event organizer made a promo video that went a little too far.

You gotta keep that shit on the QT till its too late to cancel

Read more at TMZ

Ramy Youssef, Taylor Tomlinson, Alex Edelman, Mike Birbiglia, Jacqueline Novak and Jenny Slate participated in a comedy roundtable with THR, and when Ramy said nothing’s funnier than a fart joke, everyone agreed.

For you guys, yeah.

Read more at THR

Long before he was known as President Snow, Donald Sutherland crushed the silver screen in the movies MASH, KLUTE, The Dirty Dozen, Ordinary People and much more.

Well done sir.

Read more at variety.

everything

Cut this shit out and get back to Sugar Season Two