Friday July 30: Daily Links

FRIDAY 7.30
NEWS STORIES
Iron Man Spotted at 5,000 Feet Near LAX
Remember Jetpack man who was spotted jetting around LAX at 3,000 feet? He’s back and a pilot spotted him around 5,000 feet.
How do we know this isn’t an alien? I mean come on. We’re convinced a tic tac is a ship but we’re just accepting jet boy?
Doc Says People Are Wearing Disguises to Get Vaxxed in Missouri
The doctor said that people want to get vaccinated but they don’t want their family and friends to know.
Is the disguise just taking off your Maga hat?
Journalist Suggests Porn for Teens, and Deleted That Tweet REAL Fast
“Someone needs to create porn for children. Hear me out,” tweeted journalist Flora Gill. “Young teens are already watching porn but theyre finding hard core aggressive videos that give a terrible view of sex. They need entry level porn@ A soft core site where everyone asks for consent and no one gets choked etc.”
After deleting the tweet for obvious reasons, she had another great idea, tweeting, “I really think if someone quickly deletes a tweet, it shouldn’t be screenshotted and shared like… just let it die, you know? no? no one else agree?”
Great idea! And if you rip your pants we promise we won’t look.
Hudson Yards Developer May Permanently Shut Down The Vessel After Fourth Suicide
After three suicides, The Vessel was temporarily shut down and rules were changed to refuse to admit single visitors to the structure. Now after a fourteen year old boy who visited the structure with his entire family leapt to his death, the developer of Hudson Yards is considering whether to close the tourist attraction permanently.
Can we shut down all of Hudson yards while we’re at it….
Biggest Earthquake in 50 Years Hits Alaska
The 8.2 quake caused a Tsunami warning that was later cancelled.
Why is the planet acting like the beginning of a Ghostbusters reboot.
Bannon Tries To Explain Why He Said All Hell Was Going to Break Loose Before Capitol Insurrection
On January 5th Steve Bannon said “All hell is going to break loose.” Now he claims he was referring to how democrats would react when Pence refused to certify the election results. Of course that never happened.”
Took you six months and a couple of lawyers to clarify this?
Read more at washington examiner
Steve Bannon addresses the issue of his name trending on Twitter for saying, “All hell is going to break loose tomorrow. Just understand this. All hell is going to break loose tomorrow. It’s gonna be moving. It’s gonna be quick.” (Jan 5) pic.twitter.com/v0wySN27kM
— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) July 29, 2021
SPORTS
NBA Coach Punished Team For One Player With a Shitty Phone
According to an excerpt from the upcoming book Giannis: The Improbable Rise of an NBA MVP, coach Jason Kidd once punished the entire Bucks team because one player had an android which ruined group texts. He said Thon Maker not getting an iPhone was an example of the team not being united.”
Are you reading this Chris Stanley?
Lakers Are Your Favorite To Win In 2022 After Westbrook Trade
Sportsbooks are listing the Lakers as the favorite to win the NBA Championship in 2022 after they secured a trade for Russell Westbrook. Or as the Lakers are calling themselves now, Nets West.
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Rosie Will Get a Part in A League of Their Own TV Show
O’Donnell will play a bartender at a gay bar.
Are you sure she’s not just bartending?
Olivia Rodrigo Called Out For Blaccent
Some are looking to put “using a black accent” in the same category as blackface. Rodrigo is being criticized for using words like “yung,” “stunna,” “homegirl” and “crine.”
Watchu talking bout willis?
Woman Says She Has the Only Recording of J.D. Salinger's Voice, and Nobody Will Ever Hear It
A woman who secretly recorded an interview with Salinger says she will never release the tape, and her will instructs that the tape should be cremated along with her body upon her death. She says that she regrets making the tape. “I wake up in the middle of the night and I think, ‘I stole that. I stole his voice.’ You know that’s like stealing somebody’s soul, right? That tape is not mine to give or sell.”
Stop lying, you have a blank tape.
Facebook Smart Sunglasses Will Record Everything You See
Full AI glasses aren’t coming anytime soon, but while we’re waiting on those, Facebook has said they’re very close to releasing a Ray Ban smart sunglasses that can record your life.
Great! When am I going to have time to watch it?
Disney Calls Scar Jo Callous
Disney has responded with a statement after Scarlett Johannsan sued them for releasing her movie on Disney+ at the same time as its theater release.
“The lawsuit is especially sad and distressing in its callous disregard for the horrific and prolonged global effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. Disney has fully complied with Ms. Johansson’s contract and furthermore, the release of Black Widow on Disney+ with Premier Access has significantly enhanced her ability to earn additional compensation on top of the $20M she has received to date.”
Face it you wouldn’t do this to Robert Downey Jr.
Big Brother Winner Files for Divorce
Dr. Will Kirby, Big Brother 2 filed for divorce from Erin Brodie.
It’s her fault for marrying somebody known as the evil doctor.
New Cancel Culture Strategy- Try Begging
Ryan Adams deleted a post in which he begged for a job making music.
“I know I’m damaged goods. I know I am and they aren’t the ideal thing, but I had a label interested for months and they wasted my time. I’m months from losing my label, studio and my home.
“I just really want a second chance to make some music — maybe help other people believe you can get up out of the gutter and be something. I’m 46 and scared I’m gonna be living in my sisters basement. If you are a label and interested please let me know.”
“Please if someone takes a chance on me and this music I’ll bust my ass to support it. Sorry to sound desperate.”
Put this to music and it will be the most interesting thing you’ve ever sung.
TRENDING
1 Billion Rick Rolls!
Never Gonna Give You Up has been viewed over a billion times on YouTube!
And each person who viewed it said, Oh Shit!
Director Of First Suicide Squad Slams His Movie, Praises James Gunn
David Ayer, the director of the first Suicide Squad, trashed his own film, saying it wasn’t his cut. Then he praised James Gunn’s new Suicide Squad. Let’s get the Ayer’s Cut of a movie no one gives a fuck about. Can’t wait.
What's Up With Jeff Bezos's Face?
The interent loves talking about Jeff Bezos’s face and how weird it’s starting to look and Yahoo looks into it. Odd that this didn’t pop up on the Washington Post.
Has The Scranton Strangler Been Found Out?
One real life journalist feels they’ve figured out who the real Scranton Strangler is and spoiler alert…it could be David Wallace. People need to get off Toby’s dick.
Jeff bezos new face is killing me pic.twitter.com/DX12V9V1i5
— roxanne (@roxshenanigans) July 30, 2021
Why Is Everyone So Obsessed With Jeff Bezos’ Face? https://t.co/ZioYsYoaRR pic.twitter.com/nLOczsp7wa
— Evan Kirstel the $B2B Techfluencer (@EvanKirstel) July 30, 2021
VIRAL VIRAL
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