You’re going to need a coat and gloves just to watch this video. It looks like the Polar Vortex is living in Lake Michigan these days. These videos were taken of the icy waters that look like the last scene of Titanic.

I dunno, I still think that groundhog was wrong. Spring’s right around the corner.

Read more at usatoday.

Did you think the CEO of Parler was fired because the platform helped fuel the capitol insurrection? Maybe because his leadership got the platform essentially shut down? Nah, he says he was fired for planning to ban neo nazi groups, as a compromise to get the app back online.

Oh man did you fuck up. Never fuck with the brand. Hate.

Read more at variety.

Well, if you’re in Idaho or Missouri… move.

Read more at nytimes.com.

Rep Taylor Greene has been banned from being on any committee’s after being voted out. She is known for pushing QAnon related conspiracy theories. Thanks, Deep State, now the truth will never get out there.

Read more at apnews.com.

Military officials confirmed that an unauthorized person managed to breach Maryland’s Joint Base Andrews, home of Air Force One. It was actually Mike Pence trying to get pull some strings to get a free flight to his next safe house.

Read more at nypost.

The folks behind the Super Bowl halftime show has promised you will be surprised, shocked and blown away by this year’s staging, which will take place in the stands instead of on the field.

In the stands? Where the fans are?

Great! If you need somebody from the crowd, I know a guy who does a pretty good nature boy who will be ready to roll.

Read more at pagesix.

CBS considered simulcasting the Super Bowl on Nickelodeon but ultimately decided not to so they wouldn’t split the audience. And now children will never get to see Tom Brady slimed. Fuck this world.

CBS considered doing a separate Nickelodeon telecast for Super Bowl but decided to keep everything on CBS to maximize viewership there.

— Neil Best (@sportswatch) February 3, 2021

Sports Illustrated spoke with a bunch of the players who never got a ring with the Patriots while BRady was there. These shlep rock losers must not sleep at night.

Read more at si.com.

Jordie Benn thought it was a good idea to throw hands with Wayne Simmonds during the Leafs 7-3 win over the Canucks. Simmonds would land 13 straight haymakers during the exchange, which was eventually broken up by the refs. Now Simmonds is trying to line up a fight with Jake Paul.

Read more at tmz.

A new Half hour comedy about a woman whose boobs start talking to her is coming to HBO Max and Hayek is producing.

Hey if your tits are talking, I’m listening.

Read more at nypost.

It’s been ten years since Casey Anthony was acquitted of murdering her own daughter and she wants to make sure none of us have forgotten the details. So she’s creating an authorized documentary about the case.

I think you’ve got a real chance of solving this crime.

Read more at tmz.

New court papers reveal that Maxwell is blaming the death of Jeffrey Epstein on her arrest, theorizing that prosecutors went after her as a “replacement”. Lady, you were a pedophile’s pimp, you were getting busted no matter what.

Read more at dailymail.co.uk.

R&B singer Nolan Porter, whose hits ‘If Could Only Be Sure’ and ‘Keep On Keepin’ On, influenced British artists Joy Division and Paul Weller, passed away at the age of 71. His critically acclaimed albums No Apologies and Nolan kicked off the British Northern Soul movement of the 1970s and featured appearances by Lowell George, Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson and members of The Mothers Of Invention. The world is getting less funkier by the day.

Read more at nme.com.

Glenn Close celebrated her Golden Globe nomination but posting a video of her doing a weird dance in full Hillbilly Elegy makeup. As part of the Oscar push, Close will now enter the Celebrity Silhouette Challenge.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by The Real Glenn Close (@glennclose)

You can thank Gay Twitter for this gem.

Come for the curvy men in tight workout clothes, stay for the bare-ass comment section.

Would you pass ✅??? 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/SfV3TTboLZ

— BLESS YOUR HEART 🙏🏾 (@Juliannyc901) February 4, 2021

That’s one busy postman!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by BBC News (@bbcnews)

If the hairhoppers of the 60s would have made this mistake the beehive would have never went out of style.

This woman put gorilla glue in her hair and now it’s stuck in this one style 😭 pic.twitter.com/521Yv95eYc

— Raven Darkhölme (@LeBlossommm) February 4, 2021

A bunch of bartenders have decided you lunch pail johnny’s are stinking up their bars by playing Journey, Fleetwood Mac, Skynrd and the Eagles on their precious jukeboxes.

Hey bartender, who named you music critic? How about you keep your opinions to yourself and keep those drinks moving. Can we still play Hey Bartender? Is that okay with you?

Via digg.