A cruise ship is on its way to St Vincents to help with evacuations. All signs point to a volcano eruption on the way imminently.

Don’t they have any virgins? No? What about Joe. Can’t he help?

Read more at CNN.

According to Elon Musk, this monkey is playing pong without any controllers and only using thought. Musk hopes the neuralink implants will eventually allow a paralyzed person to use a smart device, and beyond that, perhaps even help people to walk again.

Also, Musk can’t believe that the monkey didn’t blow up.

Read more at theverge.

First @Neuralink product will enable someone with paralysis to use a smartphone with their mind faster than someone using thumbs

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 9, 2021

Later versions will be able to shunt signals from Neuralinks in brain to Neuralinks in body motor/sensory neuron clusters, thus enabling, for example, paraplegics to walk again

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 9, 2021

The device is implanted flush with skull & charges wirelessly, so you look & feel totally normal

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) April 9, 2021

Marine scientists are saying that Netflix’s super popular “documentary” Seaspiracy is full of “rampant misinformation”. Seaspiracy is ostensibly about the impact humans have on marine life, and advocates veganism.

The Netflix documentary has been among the streaming service’s most popular films since coming out in late March, and yet nearly every marine scientist I’ve seen talking about it has wanted to see the movie sunk into the Challenger Deep, never to be seen again due to rampant misinformation.

Anything that turns people off of Red Lobster can’t be all bad.

Read more at gizmodo.

A woman discovered that she had a second vagina while giving birth.

Another name for that is an asshole.

Read more at nypost.

@britsburg

#stitch with @omqgabbi HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT LIKE WHAT. #UD #BiggerIsBetter #ShowerWithMoxie #uterusowner #womenempowerment #momsoftiktok

♬ original sound – Britsburg

Did the Mets cheat their way to a win in Thursday’s home opener? Or was it just a bad call by the ump that gave them a win. The game was tied, bases loaded and it was the bottom of the ninth. Michael Conforto was at bat. The count was 2-2. The pitch came in, the batter didn’t swing and the catcher caught the ball. So game over right? Wrong. Conforto leaned down, and the pitch grazed his elbow. The umpire called it a hit and game over.

The Umpire Strikes back.

Read more at Sports Illustrated.

MICHAEL CONFORTO GETS HIT BY A PITCH AND THE METS WIN IT 3-2!!!!! pic.twitter.com/R1QdgiRQJ5

— SNY (@SNYtv) April 8, 2021

Some folks may think you need Three Billboards but you can say plenty with one.

Read more at thehill.

Hello, @mattgaetz any thoughts on the billboard? Reporters are trying to reach you for your comments… pic.twitter.com/gFqhQwX6Qt

— Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) April 8, 2021

Sean P-Diddy Puffy Combs was called out on social media for not acknowledging his own privilege in Corporate America after he wrote an open letter asking corporations to support black business.

Looks like this entrepreneur called the kettle black. .

Read more at mediaite.

Dave Portnoy wasn’t bothered by his leaked sex tape, and neither was the woman who was featured in it with him.

“I’d like to do it much more,” was Portnoy’s complaint.

Read more at Page Six.

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MSCHF agreed to buy back all pairs of Satan shoes at the original price to get them out of circulation as part of a settlement deal with Nike. And they won’t sell anymore.

This was the cheapest commercial anyone could buy.

Read more at USA Today.

Geraldo fought with famed civil rights attorney Leo Terrell, asking him, “Hey, Leo! When was the last time you were in the ghetto?”

Ghetto? What is this 1974.

Read more at mediaite.

Britney Spears says she was surprised that she “felt nothing” when she got the Covid 19 vaccine. She says she heard from the people on the internet that it felt like a bullet going through your arm.

Why is Britney getting a vaccine? She hasn’t seen anybody in 10 years.

Read more at people.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CNa9tX5AgZt/?utm_source=ig_embed

As Bell Div DaVoe said “Never trust a big butt and a smile.”

Although who would even notice if Meloni is smiling with the blinding light of that full moon?

SVU is filming in park slope this week and someone in the neighborhood facebook group posted this photo of chris meloni

🥵 pic.twitter.com/A2fAENk05u

— peter hess (@PeterNHess) April 7, 2021

So guess “millennial pink” can go fuck itself now?!

read more at vice.

Greg Gutfield is getting roasted like crazy over his new Fox News comedy show. Some people are laughing at the logo, which resembles the Garfield cartoon logo. Others the format. And this Twitter account mocks the fact that Gutfield made the same joke three out of three shows in a row.

I know it’s hard to find right wing comedians but just hire Nick DiPaolo. He’s ready to go.

Gutfeld! has told the same terrible joke about CNN three nights in a row — a supercut pic.twitter.com/9RThg15AEM

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 8, 2021

How come this dog has never seen Star Wars before?

When you see Darth Vader for the first time pic.twitter.com/6qXrnfZJmc

— Wu-Tang Is For The Children (@WUTangKids) April 8, 2021

A Youtube star had to delete a video and apologize after he trespassed on Space X property, filming all the while.

Dude where were you on Jan 6?

She can’t wait to finally wipe her ass.

Via digg.

Having a Nickleback addiction is considered rock bottom.

Read more at studyfinds.org.