Friday April 7 Daily Links

FRIDAY 4.7
NEWS STORIES
WTF is UP With Elon Musk Satellites?
SpaceX’s next-generation Starlink satellites are falling out of the sky with Musk admitting to certain problems.
They’re dropping like blue checks.
Jeopardy Champ Quits Twitter After People Compared Him to Hitler
Poor Brian Henegar, is getting compared to Hitler because he likes that swoopy haircut and sports a thin mustache.
I guess there are still some stereotypes we can harass.
On April 4th, you’ll be able to see me with @KenJennings on @Jeopardy! So excited to make a childhood dream a reality! pic.twitter.com/QHMrIIZ06H
— Brian Henegar (@JepMasta) March 29, 2023
SPORTS
Jets Sign Their Former Packer QB
The New York Jets signed 28 year old Tim Boyle, to a one-year contract.
Sleep well tonight Jets fans. You have your next Super Bowl.
Cam Newton Has a List of QBs He Will Consider
The former Panther starting QB knows he’s a backup now, and he’s cool with that, but he doesn’t just want to back up anyone. He has a list of QBs he will consider. His number one is Deshaun Watson, and Lamar Jackson is his #2.
You’d be lucky to go to anyone who takes you.
CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT
Christina Aguilera Was a Virgin Longer Than You Think
She doesn’t want to admit how old she was when she lost her virginity, but while talking on a podcast she confessed that it was later than you think.
I’ve honestly never thought about your virginity. Not even once.
John Wick Spinoff
Ballerina, starring Ana de Armas has a release date of next summer. The John Wick Spinoff follows her character seeking revenge when her family is killed by hitmen.
Just we wanted, a John Wick film without John Wick.
Apple Bought Jonah Hill Movie That Will Star Keanu Reeves
Keanu will star alongside Hill in a dark comedy titled Outcome for Apple Studios. Keanu will play Reef, a damaged Hollywood star who must dive into the dark depths of his past to confront his demons and make amends after he is extorted with a mysterious video clip from his past.
Let’s hope Jonah can do for Keanu what he did for Kanye.
Nic Cage Says He Filed Down His Teeth to Play Dracula
For the movie Renfield, Nicolas Cage spent three hours each day getting into his make up, and filed down his own teeth.
Why? All he has to do is roll out of bed to be the prince of darkness.
TRENDING & VIRAL
nothing here yet
Can’t Stop Hiccuping? The Answer is In Your Asshole
Rectal massage might be a cure for your unbearable hiccups, according to at least one expert.
Excuse me ma’am can you help me with my hiccups?
Stormy Daniels Searches Rise By More than 32,000 Percent
Since Trump’s arrangement, searches for Daniels are up up, up and hit an all time high. She went from about 30,000 searches per day to over 600,000 searches.
And most of them came from Mar a lago.
STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS
nPhilly Suburb is Happiest Place in America
Chesterbrook Pa is the number one neighborhood in America for the fourth year in a row. Poverty and unemployment are low, there are highly rated public schools, plenty of restaurants and political beliefs are described as moderate.
And yet go 5 miles in every direction and you can get beat up over a hoagie.
There Are At Least 45 Reasons to Stop Eating Sugar
Sugar is bad and too much sugar is really bad. A new study announced 45 health conditions that can be made significantly worse by sugar and much improved by cutting back.
All outweighed by one good reason to keep having it.
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