Between dealing with kids, dealing with work, and dealing with Take Your Kids to Work Day, you may have missed some of the most insane things celebrities did this week. Well, have no fear — because Kashmere is here with his finger on the pulse and his eyes on every Instagram account of anyone worth talking about. From Oscar winners to reality TV royalty, to even actually royalty; here are the craziest stories going on this week. Welcome to our newest series, “Did You Hear? With Kashmere!”
Kashmere (also known as Danny Murphy) is a comedian, writer, and pop culture connoisseur (despite not really knowing how to spell connoisseur). He currently writes for Betches and Marie Claire and has also been featured in Glamour, Seventeen and Town & Country. When he’s not drinking red wine or iced coffee while watching Bravo, he’s performing around New York and hosting PASS THE AUX at The Stonewall Inn and DO I SEND IT? at Branded Saloon. Follow his fake reality show AKA his Instagram stories, @kashmeredanny.
Happy pre-Halloween! Well, I’m sure some of you already celebrated the festivities because Halloween after you turn 18 is really just about the weekend before or after it. I’m not sure who decided which is the official weekend for it, but I’m assuming it’s the college kids. They have all the power, as terrifying as that seems. I chose to be tasteful this year and go as Judge Judy Garland, because why be one talented woman when you can be two? Let me know what you were dressed as — send me a pic on Twitter or Instagram at @kashmeredanny!
You Can’t Handle the Truth — So You Need A Drink:
You probably will be eating a little more candy than usual this week because every office loves to throw some mini Heath bars around come October 31st. With that, I say lean all the way in to the sweet side and get some Vanilla Vodka, Baileys, and mix equal parts together in a shaker full of ice and get that cavity IN STYLE.
Shocked to Not:
Let’s rank the five most shocking (or not remotely surprising at all) stories from this past week.
Chrissy Teigen & John Legend Endorse Elizabeth Warren | While this isn’t majorly shocking news since the two are vocal Democrats, it does I feel mark the start of every celebrity now getting involved in the upcoming election. Because if I don’t know who the cast of Riverdale is voting for, I’m not voting. Read more about their Vanity Fair cover story here.
RHONJ is Finally Interesting Again| As someone who grew up in the Garden State, Real Housewives of New Jersey has always had a special place in my heart. This means that even when they just sat around a table eating sliced deli meats and drinking Dunkaccinos, I was still hooked. What can I say, that’s home to me! But last night, Joe Giudice and Teresa did the lord’s work by giving an interview about their marriage and the fact that they still are married despite all the legal dramas. Check it out here.
Irina Shayk Takes 2-Year Old Horseback Riding ? | I know this news is less important than your roommate texting you that they do in fact have your favorite kind of peanut butter at the grocery store, but I just had no clue two year olds could go horseback riding? Is this just a supermodel thing?
Nick Jonas Was Groped on Stage | Some more news from a famous New Jersian, Nick Jonas’s return to your life has touched the lives of so many of his fans — so much so that they felt the need to touch him. Check video of him performing through being groped multiple times, and tbh this is just a sign the drinking age should be refueled to 18 cause if this girl has a wine in her hand, she would never let it go.
I’m Over Celebrities Photo-Bombing Pictures | Celebs, they’re just like us! Goofy and obnoxious! Jason Segel made headlines for photobombing a couples engagement photoshoot and I’m way over this “adorkable” trend. No one wants an actor who was in a show 7 years ago in their wedding invites, but thanks? They already met his mother, and it was most likely via Instagram DM.
The More You Know: Our Weekly Life Lesson From the A-to-Z List
While there has not been any backlash to a celeb’s Halloween costume yet this year, its only a matter of time before someone royalty messes up. So, when in doubt, just please — be a cat.
Blast From the PAST:
Speaking of the above, this weeks TBT must go out to Hilary Duff: my queen who definitely learned a lesson from Halloween a few years ago. Take a walk down memory lane when she tried to make Pilgrim-chic happen. And also try to make it not offensive. Love the nails, though!
Stream or Scream?:
Kanye West has officially left the building and entered a Mega-Church. He released his much delayed, much confusing project this last Friday, Jesus Is King, and it sounds truly if Kidz Bop moved to Calabasas to start a cult. Avoid at all costs.