Cuck Anthems, The Ultimate Rock for the Ultimate Cuck

Published by Interrobang Staff at December 6, 2016

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The Cuck Anthem

Broken hearts and love triangles have been the subject of art since the beginning of time. Sometimes, the heroes can be left out or left behind and these songs are some of the greatest Cuck Anthems of music history. So next time your feeling like you’re stuck in a corner and left out of all the action, slap on this playlist and embrace it; Cucks can be proud! So this one’s for you: for all of you who’d like a little something to listen to while you watch your someone special… with their someone more special.

Track 1: The Jackson 5 – I’ll Be There

Sean from Ottowa (@humanmeat on Twitter) says that the cuckiest part of this song is “If you should ever find someone new, I know he better be good to you, ‘Cause if he doesn’t I’ll be there (I’ll be there) ….. ” which is 100% correct because as we all know, a true cuck is always there.

Track 2: Rick Springfield – Jessie’s Girl

Rick Springfield gets extra cucky in Jessie’s Girl for playing along with the charade of watching Jessie and his girlfriend while spending time with them. He also gets extra points for being the only person to ever use “moot” in a song.

“And she’s watching him with those eyes
And she’s loving him with that body, I just know it
Yeah ‘n’ he’s holding her in his arms late, late at night
You know, I wish that I had Jessie’s girl”

Track 3: The Cars – My Best Friends Girl

The only thing separating Rick Springfield and our narrator in this one is that he had the girl BEFORE his friend. She left you and made you a cuck dude, get over it.

“She’s my best friend’s girl
But she used to be mine”

Track 4: Prince – When You Were Mine

There is so much cucking go on in this song, it’s ridiculous. Prince says all of his friends used to come over and “meet” and that he wasn’t the one to make a fuss about any of it, but when it goes that extra mile is when he says “let her fool around” and that it was even cool when the guy was “sleeping in between us”.

“When you were mine, You were kinda, sorta my best friend
So I was blind (so blind), I let you fool around
I never cared (didn’t care)
I never was the kind to make a fuss, When he was there
Sleeping in between the two of us

I know (I know). That you’re going with another guy
I don’t care (don’t care)
‘Cause I love you, baby, that’s no lie
I love you more than I did when you were mine”

Prince – When You Were Mine by npba-multimedia

Track 5: Cat Stevens – Here Comes My Baby

The cucking comes fast and furious in this Cat Stevens song. Our narrator tells us he’s never surprised seeing his girl with another dude, a dude he calls “fine”.

Track 6: Bobby Vee – Take Good Care Of My Baby (0:17)

Being a cuck is one thing, but also putting the responsibility of your girl’s well-being with another dude? That’s pathetic AND needy.

“Take good care of my baby. Now don’t you ever make her cry
Just let your love surround her. Don’t let her see a cloudy sky
Once upon a time that little girl was mine
If I’d been true I know she’d never be with you, so
Take good care of my baby. Be just as kind as you can be
And if you should discover. That you don’t really love her
Just send my baby back home to me”

Track 7: The Killers – Mr. Brightside (0:18)

This one offers tons of questions, is this all in his head or is this real? Why is he justifying that it was only a kiss and then letting his mind wander? Which is it – is she calling a cab or going to bed, get your story straight, cucky.

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep. And she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke. And she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed. And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest
Now, he takes off her dress”

Track 8: Bon Jovi – Always (2:15)

Jon Bon Jovi takes cuck culture to another level with this one, he is thinking up hypothetical conversations of his girl with another guy and wishing that he was him. Why do you want this girl til the end of time, Jon?

“When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words
You’ve been needing to hear, I’ll wish I was him
‘Cause these words are mine, to say to you
‘Til the end of time”

Track 9: Marvin Gaye – I Heard It Through The Grapevine (0:22)

This one is pretty straight forward. Our narrator has not only heard about his girl’s cheating ways, but he wants it to be clear that he loves her more. Just let it go man.

“Do you plan to let me go
For the other guy you loved before?”

BONUS TRACK: Tim Heidecker – I Am A Cuck

This one you can figure out by the title for the most part.

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