Kevin Spacey gave Twitter a gift today just hours after it was announced that he will be indicted for felony sexual assault. The Boston Globe had just dropped the news that Spacey will be arraigned on a charge of indecent assault and battery in Nantucket District Court just after the New Year. Just hours later, Spacey tweeted a short film titled “Let Me Be Frank” in which the actor performs a creepy monologue in character as Frank Underwood- his House of Cards character from the Netflix series. Netflix fired Spacey from the series after allegations started coming to light.
“Oh sure, they may have tried to separate us, but what we have is too strong, it’s too powerful and after all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think. And you trusted me even though you knew you shouldn’t. So we’re not done, no matter what anyone says. And besides, I know what you want: You want me back,” he says in the video. It’s creepy, unsettling and confusing. And it already has 3 million views.
All day after the video appeared without explanation, comedians reacted to the video, also on Twitter. We collected our 35 favorites.
— Anthony Atamanuik (@TonyAtamanuik) December 25, 2018
“Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may think my client is an evil two-faced sexual predator, but may I direct you to this YouTube clip…”
— Tom Brennan (@Brennanator) December 25, 2018
By all means, due process, legal proceedings, court of law, etc. but like who in the hell decided to tell you that was a cute idea and also like don’t you realize publicists have jobs for a reason and at this point you really haven’t proven yourself all that great at “decisions.”
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) December 25, 2018
The best part of the Kevin Spacey video is his “I’m crushing this” face.
— Mike Cannon (@IamMikeCannon) December 25, 2018
I know what he's drinking!! pic.twitter.com/7EJV35jkz3
— His Divine Grace Dr. Duncan Trussell PHD (@duncantrussell) December 25, 2018
Spacey tape is like a homemade Zapruder film.
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) December 25, 2018
Santa is real. His name is Kevin Spacey!
— Jon Daly (@jondaly) December 25, 2018
I just want to thank Santa Claus for that Kevin Spacey totally not a sexual assaulter in a Christmas apron as Frank Underwood video. I'm a big fan of life playing out like a hallucinatory fever dream and this was more than I could have possibly asked for.
— Mehran Khaghani (@MehranX) December 25, 2018
Today I received screeners for A Star is Born, Vice, and Kevin Spacey’s Let Me Be Frank video.
— Justin Stangel (@Justin_Stangel) December 25, 2018
I love screener season! pic.twitter.com/lSIU1qMDYq
— Scott Gairdner (@scottgairdner) December 24, 2018
Two fictional presidents are having simultaneous holiday meltdowns.
— Brian Finkelstein (@bsfinkelstein) December 24, 2018
Sorry it’s better than every late night set https://t.co/4B23k3ZVki
— Tim Dillon (@TimJDillon) December 25, 2018
Kevin Spacey in prison (Turns to camera, in Southern accent): “I could see I was in quite a jam, but I wasn’t going to let it slow me down. Not today, not ever.”
Cellmate: “Who do you keep talking to?”
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) December 24, 2018
“Oh no, I’ve made a huge mistake” said Spacey right after flubbing a line and before starting another take.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) December 24, 2018
He’s not even doing the voice properly.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) December 24, 2018
Is that Kevin Spacey’s Oscar host audition tape?
— Jimmy Pardo (@jimmypardo) December 24, 2018
Maybe if Daniel Day Lewis gets metoo’d he’ll address it as Lincoln
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) December 25, 2018
C'mon Mike. You know the lighting was fine. https://t.co/7OViEBfpDq
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) December 24, 2018
whoever is sitting by kevin spacey should slap the shit out of him
— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) December 24, 2018
Somehow, sexual assault charges lead 2 a southern accent. Who knew. Wtfffffff is this. https://t.co/2aHX1PDVU3
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) December 24, 2018
“Wait, HE’s back? Just doing sets at comedy clubs like nothing happened? And he says the N-word in some old video that got turned up, but people got mad at CHRIS ROCK instead? Okay get the camera and be ready to load my kitchen TelePrompTer. I NEED A PEN.” pic.twitter.com/shIIlI64lL
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) December 24, 2018
And he fucked kids! https://t.co/XhgV45XWFg
— Sam Tripoli (@samtripoli) December 24, 2018
For Christmas, Kevin Spacey sent us all a self-tape for the role of ‘rapist’. https://t.co/QvoSr3VwOB
— CORINNE FISHER (@PhilanthropyGal) December 24, 2018
Play this video at my funeral.
DO NOT just read the transcript.
Full video. On a loop. https://t.co/MkMHbtN1Vm
— Anthony Jeselnik (@anthonyjeselnik) December 24, 2018
What the actual fuck? https://t.co/aOhMc4pp3u
— Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) December 24, 2018
If you play that Kevin Spacey video backwards it’s just Louis saying the n-word over the Seinfeld theme.
— Moshe Kasher (@moshekasher) December 24, 2018
The worst part about this video is finishing the video with the “Mystery” IMovie sound effect. https://t.co/R8ElsjTLqe
— Francisco Ramos (@FranciscoRamos) December 24, 2018
Cameraman: Alright Mr. Spacey we’re ready to shoot your apology video. Do you need cue cards or do you have it memorized?
Kevin Spacey: I’m just gonna wing it.
*3 minutes later*
Cameraman: alright, that was good. Why don’t we try it again as the guy from American Beauty?
— "Ian" Abramson (@ianabramson) December 24, 2018
Kevin Spacey just knocked Offset WAY down the shudder-inducing “please take me back” gesture power rankings.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 24, 2018
He officially did his OJ “what if I DID do it” 🤦🏾♂️ https://t.co/3a6slN3Jcc
— Chris Redd (@Reddsaidit) December 24, 2018
That Kevin Spacey video is further proof that no matter how rich and famous you get you need at least 3 people in your life who have no problem saying to you… pic.twitter.com/mvbJkWywEa
— W. Kamau Bell (@wkamaubell) December 24, 2018