Socially distancing from reality seems like a dream, right? How many Friday afternoons did you cry at the fact that you have plans, when all you wanted to do was watch Netflix on your couch with a bottle of wine and no obligations? Well… I guess we all need to be careful what we wished for because that’s our current reality with COVID-19 until 2048 with. Kidding… I hope. I figured because since there are no stand-up shows, podcast tours, or sets to go to with everything shut down — comedians are most likely going stir crazy. And since I’m a nosy bitch, I had to find out just how they were passing the time. As always, I’m Kashmere and these are the Social Distancing Dispatches.
I’m so excited that I was able to steal a few minutes from the amazing Bonnie McFarlane to see how she was holding up amidst a global pandemic while taking care of both Rayna and Rich. You obviously have seen Bonnie performing stand-up all over, but while you wait for live shows (and the outdoors) to exist again, take some time to listen to her NEW ALBUM, Bird Calls! I guarantee if you put it on, you’ll forget that the world may be ending outside your window, at least for a few minutes. I also loved her memoir, You’re Better Than Me, and vividly remember finishing it in one weekend while chugging Dunkin Donuts iced coffees. Ah, to be young and free again! Check out how Bonnie is holding up below!
I mean how prepared were you for this? Did you have toilet paper at the ready or were you panic running around to bodegas trying to find like, ramen noodles? Rich has been prepping for this for years. Mostly sneakers. But also tuna and sardines. So, yeah, never been more ready. Bring it on.
Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you feel like this is your thrive time or are you making up conversations with inanimate objects. I do not miss talking to people at all.
Is your lockdown a table for one or are you doing it with roommates / a significant other? What’s the best/worst part of whichever of either doing it alone or with someone. Rich, Rayna and I are locked in a battle of wills for the unforseeable future.Three is a tricky number. Someone is always trying to calm the other two. Or there’s a bully situation that springs up with alarming regularity. Usually, it’s Rayna and I making fun of Rich. He’s just an easy target. You know, he’s washing his hands with like 77 rings on them. But we laugh a lot and it makes me appreciate my family so much because, damn, what if you were on lockdown with people you didn’t like? Miserable.
Have you come up with a random quarantine meal/snack that you would never eat during your normal day-to-day? I bought some rice cakes the other day that I really had low expectations for and they were good. So they are going into rotation!
The most random show that you’ve found solace in during this… no need to be embarrassed, I’m rewatching Real Housewives of New Jersey to feel right now. I watched The Tiger King last night. If you like white trash, this is wildly up your alley.
Be honest: when do you start drinking, and how many bottles of wine have you had? I had a drink last night with my mom and sisters on zoom. Zoom is riding this quarantine thing all the way to the top.
What do you want to accomplish during this time that you have been putting off because you “don’t have the time”? I’m sewing my next wedding dress.