Monday December 4 Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at December 4, 2023

MONDAY 12.4

NEWS STORIES

Santos Movie Already Being Made

The man behind Veep, Frank Rich, is already developing a movie that will take a “forensic and darkly comic look at the crazy, unprecedented congressional race on Long Island that led to Santos being elected to Congress.”

This is good news for Manny from Modern Family

Lost Botticelli Masterpiece Found

A painting lost in the 80s has been found in a home in Southern Italy. The painting was commissioned for the Roman Catholic Church in 1470 and is estimated to be worth $109 million.

Earl has already put in an offer.

Air Traffic Controllers Boozin n Snoozin

The past few years, with worker shortages, and money shortages, there have been some disturbing incidences among air traffic controllers. Seven have been caught asleep on the job, and five were discovered to be using controlled substances, like alcohol or weed while at work.

Come on guys, this is serious, you gotta stop acting like cops .

Death Bed Bank Robbery Confession

An Ohio man who is dying of lung cancer confessed to his daughter that he has been using a fake name, and on the lam for 50 years. He had robbed a bank while in his early 20s, working as a vault teller grabbing $215k and spent most of his life as a fugitive. Now his daughter did what anyone would- started a podcast. It was a simple non violent affair- he went into the vault, quietly stuffed $215,000 into a paper bag and walked away from his old life.

Finally a podcast we can all enjoy.

LA Homeless Killer in Custody

A suspect is in custody, and will be charged with the murder of three homeless people in the past week. The 33 year old was already in custody, suspected of shooting and killing a county officer earlier this week after following him home planning to rob him. They now believe he is also responsible for killing three homeless men on Sunday and Monday.

When the police went to his house they found a collection of jars of urine.

Animal Shelters Overwhelmed in LA

Los Angeles animal shelters have been overcrowded for years, but now they are in crisis with an influx of animals needing homes at an all time high, and no funding to do anything about it.

Maybe LA Times should change their name to end times.

SPORTS

Aaron Rodgers Will Not Play This Year

Just because he’s practicing doesn’t mean you A-heads should get too excited. The chance he’ll play this year is about as high as the chance the Jets have of making it to the Super Bowl.

And the Jets have decided not to play this year also.

Booger is MAD Over College Playoffs

McFarland says calls the picks, and the decision to leave Florida State off the list, a travesty to the sport. “Because we go out on the field and we play the game. And regardless of whether it looks good at the quarterback position, regardless of whether we win with the offense, whether we win with defense, the name of the game is to win. And that’s a reason never before has this not been done. Winning a Power five conference, going undefeated and not getting into the playoffs.”

Blame DeSantis.

Ben Simmons Out for Weeks

Simmons missed his 12th game this week and isn’t expected to return anytime soon due to a back injury.

Ben Simmons is the greatest thief in history.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Simon Pegg Predicts Tom Cruise Third Act

“He has a whole other age to come in his career,” he explained. “He’s a very good actor, a very, very good actor — as we’ve seen in Magnolia and Jerry Maguire… I think when he finally stops jumping off shit, he’ll have a third act. And yes, it’d be nice to be a part of that.”

He’s better have one, he can’t keep falling off buildings.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas Seen Again in Public After 2 Years

People are fascinated with JTT, his decision to drop out of Hollywood when he had such a bright start, and his absence from public life for two years. Now he’s surfaced and he looks remarkably different from the boy we saw grow up on tv.

He’s famous for not wanting to be famous.

Will Smith Opens Up

During an event at the Red Sea International Film Festival in Saudi Arabia, Will Smith opened up about making mistakes, adding, “I have to be clear about who I am and what I am attempting to do in the world. And I can’t need others to applaud for me to stay focused on my mission. … I want you to feel good. And at the same time, I am deeply human. And I am in the process of perfecting my virtue.”

This is how far away he has to go to be Will Smith these days.

Billie Eilish is Officially Out

When Variety asked her about a recent admission that she was attracted to women, and if that was her coming out she said, “I didn’t [know I was coming out], but I kinda thought, wasn’t it obvious? I didn’t realize people didn’t know.”

Haven’t we accepted the fact that all Gen-Z is queer?

Last Kiss... Or Is It

During the very last ever Kiss live performance at Madison Square Garden this weekend, the band unveiled their next phase, complete with digital avatars. “A new KISS era starts now,” the screens read before showing off their AI counterparts performing “God Gave Rock and Roll To You.”

Weren’t they always avatars?

Jennifer Garner Believes in Benign Neglect

“I want to be around. But I also think it’s OK if they suffer from a little bit of benign neglect,” she told Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager. “Their lives are their own,” she said. “I’m not trying to live their life, and I don’t mind that they see that I love mine.”

If you think she’s benign neglect wait till you get a look at their dad. He can’t pick em out of a line up.