Tuesday May 2 Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at May 2, 2023

TUESDAY 5.2

NEWS STORIES

Internet Fights Over Apparent Orchestragasm

Did she cum? That is the question on everyones minds this week after a woman seemed to have an orgasm at a performance of the LA Philharmonic orchestra? The internet is fighting over whether she had a medical incident, was fooling around with a seatmate, or was just incredibly moved by the music.

This should sell more classical records than they have in 50 years.

Costa Rican Sloth Has Medicinal Fur

Sloth fur is full of insects, algae, fungi and. bacteria, but those little bastards never seem to get sick. Scientists believe their fur has antibiotic properties that could help humans fight drug resistant super bugs.

Lick a sloth and live forever.

Trump Agrees to CNN Town Hall

Kaitlin Collins will moderate a Town Hall on May 10th for CNN and will be Trumps first return to the network in years.

Town Hall? More like Clown Hall.

Biotech Firm Beats Elon to Brain Chip Goalline

Elon Musk has been bragging about his Neuralink research, claiming he’s very close to implanting chips in people’s brains to help correct neurological problems. While Elon’s waiting on FDA approval to test on humans, another company, Blackrock Neurotech, says they’ve already implanted chips in 50 brains, and say their chips help the individuals to do various things like control robotic limbs and wheelchairs, play video games, and even sense feelings.

Oddly, they had no ailments before the chip.

SPORTS

Peyton Manning EPing a Comedy For NBC

“What are the Odds?” is a workplace comedy set in a Vegas sports book. According to Deadline, “the series will explore how all of our most meaningful decisions are really just big bets with hugely uncertain outcomes. ” This is Manning’s first time EP’ing a scripted tv series.

I’ll put down a bet. I bet this stinks.

Shannon Sharpe Says Nah to Deion Sanders Statement About HBCU

Sanders is complaining that NFL teams aren’t drafting players from historically black colleges, and believes there is bias at play. Coach Prime tweeted, “So proud is you @isaiahbolden23 You deserved to be drafted much higher but I’m truly proud of u. I know how much u want this. I’m ashamed of the 31 other @nfl teams that couldn’t find draft value in ALL of the talented HBCU players & we had 3 more draft worthy players at JSU.”

Sharpe disagreed. “The NFL is a business. The NFL doesn’t give a damn what color you are,” Sharpe told co-host Skip Bayless. “They don’t care. They want to win. Pro sports is a bottom line business. The only things that are on the menu, wins and losses. Now how many guys can we get who can help us win? I don’t give a damn of their color.”

Deion why don’t you coach the jets and take them all on.

CELEBS & ENTERTAINMENT

Anna Wintour Dating Bill Nighy

Last night at the Met Gala red carpet, Fashion magnate Anna Wintour is dating the sharp and stylish Bill Nighy.

She also wants to clarify that Bill Nighy is not Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Ed Sheeran Disgusted With This Gaye Lawsuit

In fact, Sheeran said if he’s found liable of copyright infringement, he’s out. Done. Kaput. “I find it really insulting to work my whole life as a singer-songwriter and diminish it,” he said.
Okay this just made me change sides. Let’s go Gayes

Aerosmith Farewell Tour Announced

The tour kicks off in September. “It’s not goodbye it’s PEACE OUT!” the band said in a statement. “Get ready and walk this way, you’re going to get the best show of our lives.”

It’s hard to believe all five of them are still alive.

MIla Kunis Says She Knows the Fantastic Four Cast

Kunis made it clear that she is not cast as the Thing but she knows who is.

I get it. four cast. Forecast. Good one.

Bill Hader Wont Sign Merch

He told the story on a podcast about the incident that soured him on autographs. “I used to sign stuff, and then one time I saw somebody and they had their kid come up to me to sign a BB-8 thing and it was three in the morning,” Hader continued. “I was leaving the ‘Inside Out’ premiere and then we went to an after-party thing and it was super late and this guy kept his kid up all night. [He] was like, ‘Go over there so he’ll sign it so I can sell it online. I was like, ‘That’s fucked up. So now, I just kind of blanket, like, I’m not signing any of this shit.”

Fuck the haders. And by that we mean Bill.

Stallone is Gonna Reboot Cliffhanger

A new take on an oldish action movie is in the works. If you never saw Cliffhanger, Stallone and his buddy are park rangers in the snow covered mountains who respond to a distress call during a bad storm, only to realize that he’s responding to a bunch of bad guys with guns led by John Lithgow who are trying to locate millions they just heisted.

We’d rather see the reboot of Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.

VIRAL & TRENDING

Will This Trend? Fish Cum For Dinner

A MIchelin star chef is adding fish semen to his menu after sampling the delicacy and having his doors blown off. The Madrid based chef, Dabiz Muñoz, shared a photo of the dish on Insta.

Pairs perfectly with fish sticks.

STUDIES, SURVEYS, RANKINGS

Americans Blame Media For Divisive Times

Americans are more divided now than in any of our lifetimes, and they’re blaming the media for causing these deep rifts. A new poll shows that about 75% of us believe the news media is polarizing us, and half have little to no trust in the media’s ability to report the news accurately.

We didn’t have cable news during the civil war.