The CDC has released new guidelines so doctors can prescribe painkillers more easily. The stricter guidelines in place were resulting in “untreated and undertreated pain, serious withdrawal symptoms, worsening pain outcomes, psychological distress, overdose, and [suicide],” according to the updated guidance.

Who in 2022 America is having a hard time finding pills?

Read more at NPR.

Apple’s worth $2.3 trillion which is more than Alphabet, Meta and Amazon combined. Zuckerberg shitting the bed really helped with this new stat.

Read more at Yahoo Finance.

A Michigan Judge who voted against Proposal 3, a Michigan ballot initiative that would guarantee abortion rights in the state’s constitution, has now been outed by an ex who is calling out his hypocrisy. She says he helped her get an abortion in the 80’s.

When he said he was against abortion he didn’t mean his own.

Read more at The Daily Beast

So seriously, this not a joke. When King Charles was in his 40’s he still had a teddy bear, and his teddy bear had its own valet whose job it was to look after it. Only one person was allowed to mend it if it was damaged. The Teddy Bear’s valet was also in charge of squeezing toothpaste onto Charles toothbrush.

And you thought James Corden was spoiled

Read more at pagesix.

A new ad for Ron DeSantis’ reelection campaign implies that God made him to protect eden. “And on the eighth day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, I need a protector. So God made him a fighter. God said, I need somebody willing to get up before dawn and kiss his family goodbye, travel thousands of miles for no other reason than to serve the people, to save their jobs, their livelihoods, their liberty, their happiness.

Are we sure this isn’t a trailer for a new Danny McBride show?

I love you, Ron.

On behalf of millions of people, never stop fighting for freedom. pic.twitter.com/5wcopo041U

— Casey DeSantis (@CaseyDeSantis) November 4, 2022

The unexpected move happened only hours after she called Florida ‘the dick of the country.” Coincidence?

She should have tagged it with “and they’re dribbling on Cuba.”

Read more at mediaite.

Someone following flight paths believes they caught a US military plane “painting a penis” in the sky near a Russian airbase. But the Air Force denies it.

Maybe they were just drawing a map of Florida?

Read more at The Daily Beast

A US military plane "painted a penis" in the sky near a Russian airbase, La Repubblica.

A KC-135 Stratotanker refueling plane remained for almost two hours east of Cyprus on Tuesday, in front of the Syrian base of Tartus, a stronghold of Moscow.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/SCs0QZhUMV

— MAKS 22🇺🇦 (@Maks_NAFO_FELLA) November 2, 2022

Two teams in the final of an ACL tournament for $15k were busted for using non-regulation bags.

Can Kyrie pick up some work over there?

Read more at Fox News.

It’s being reported Jeff Bezos and Jay Z are interested in buying the Commanders from Dan Snyder.

Elon Musk and Nas are currently working on a counter-bid to rename them the Washington Tweets.

Read more at CNN.

An Eagles fan wanted to let GM Howie Roseman that all is forgiven for past decisions now that AJ Brown is on board.

This would be controversial anywhere except Philly

“Wait a minute. I’m fucking forgiven for your first fucking Super Bowl? Fuck you.” pic.twitter.com/mj6jNsZJxJ

— Barstool Philly (@BarstoolPhilly) November 4, 2022

This is the sign the guy was holding pic.twitter.com/WcxOrTxiVK

— Barstool Philly (@BarstoolPhilly) November 4, 2022

“I ain’t here to judge nobody or talk down on nobody for how they feel with their views and things,” Durant answered. “I just didn’t like anything that went on. I felt like it was all unnecessary. I felt like we could have just kept playing basketball and kept quiet as an organization. I just don’t like none of it.”

That’s how we all feel about our bosses.

Read more at mediaite.

The internet is laughing at Netflix for being so bold as to make a comedy series about the end of the company that they helped destroy.

This is like cats making a film about mice.

Read more at buzzfeed.

The Sun is reporting that Davidson has been asked to take a little break from production of his new tv series after a bit of a meltdown that a source says including throwing candles, breaking a tv, damaging trailers, “Apparently, Pete’s been given some time off to get his s**t together and focus on himself,” the source said.

Maybe he’s just celebrating how great the show is.

Read more at The Sun

The director of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever said that Boseman declined his request to read the new script before he died.

He will also not see the movie.

Read more at CNN

Why is he rebooting Ratso Rizzo?

everything

Whether you know her as Bhad Barbie, Cash Me Ousside or Danielle Brigola, she’s an only fans sensation, with $50 million to prove it. Now this week, she was invited to speak at the very respectable Oxford University in London. It was standing room only, and the applause when she arrived was thunderous.

Some people are a genius at being naked.

Read more at TMZ

everything

A new study has found that the average adult hits their peak health at the age of 34 and by 42 starts feeling signs of aging.

Unless you’re Tom Brady then it’s 45.

Read more at Study Finds.